


Maggie and the Not-So-Ferocious Luna

by meowloudly15



Series: Luna in Love [2]
Category: The Loud House (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Gayngst, I'm not incredibly fond of this one, OCs originally intended for a one-off joke who develop critical plot importance, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Overly Dramatic, Sequel to "Listen to the Band", Swearing, but oh well, crackship, cross-dressing as a plot point, mildly cringey, swear words are censored out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 05:52:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowloudly15/pseuds/meowloudly15
Summary: A direct sequel to my previous fic "Listen to the Band". Luna has developed a crush on Maggie. Rated T for language.





	1. A Foolproof Plan

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Welcome back, possibly! This is the second and almost certainly final part to the story begun in "Listen to the Band".
> 
> I mention a "story formatting style" in the original author's notes, which I've left in the body of the text for nostalgia and context purposes. Well, it's not on my profile, but I'll put it here for your sakes.
> 
> -Bold words are my author's notes, which are separated from the actual fic by a horizontal line.  
> -Italicised words are a character's thoughts (except when they're the name of a work).  
> -Underlined words are the name of a character sending the message included after them  
> -An ellipsis on its own line (...) denotes a time skip of arbitrary length.  
> -Flashbacks are separated from the main story line by horizontal lines and bold author's notes saying "Flashback!" or something similar.
> 
> I hope you like this story more than I do!

**A/N: Hello, readers! Welcome back, everybody who read my previous installment to which this story is a direct sequel, "Listen to the Band"! It begins immediately where the previous story ended. For those of you who need a refresher, I'll summarize it below.**

**If you haven't read "Listen to the Band", SPOILERS FOLLOW.**

**So, if you don't want the story spoiled and you want to read it, TURN BACK NOW.**

**I'm warning you...**

**Last call!**

**Luna got invited by a guy named Jamie (the guy who was hanging out with Sam, her crush, in "L Is for Love") to join his band. She was super excited and more than a little nervous to practice with them because Sam is in that band. When she went to practice with the band (ironically named "The Italians" and containing Sam's other friend, Alex), Luna ended up hanging out alone with Sam and kissed her. Sam told her the next day that she is straight and therefore does not return her affection. At a gig the band was playing for Jamie's little cousin's birthday, Luna spotted a girl whom she thought was cute and decided to go talk to her.**

**And that's where the story begins...**

**N.B. My formatting style is listed on my profile page in case you're confused by anything.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Loud House or any of the other sources of pop culture references that I will make.**

**I apologise for the long author's notes.**

**I hope you like it!**

* * *

Luna stopped walking abruptly.

_Whoa, whoa, whoa. I need a plan of action._

_Okay, so I should talk to her, find out her name, interests, stuff like that..._

_Maybe I shouldn't start by trying to befriend her. I mean, look how Sam turned out. Sigh..._

_FOCUS._

_You don't wanna **** this up._

_Well, actually, that mi-_

_Oh, shut up._

_Uh, maybe I should outright try flirting? Make my intentions clear?_

_No. I'm not comfortable enough with... me... to try doing that._

Luna looked at herself, feeling vaguely ashamed. She was wearing black jeans, a purple T-shirt, and a black jacket.

_I guess I look the part, though... so that might be a non-issue._

_Wait! What if I pretended to be a boy? I mean, I look and sound enough like one._

_Hm. It sounds like a cheesy sitcom plot, but it could work._

With renewed spirits, Luna bravely walked over and squatted next to the dark-haired girl buried in a book.

"Uh, hey there. How's it going?" she asked, trying to make her voice sound deeper.

The girl looked at Luna out of the corner of her eyes. "Hello," she replied flatly.

"Uh, how are you?"

"Could be worse. I could be having an even greater existential crisis than I'm currently having."

Feeling very awkward, Luna decided to change the topic. "What're you reading?"

The girl turned her book towards Luna so she could see the cover.

" _Animal Farm_? Oh, that's a good book. D'you like it?"

"Yes. I feel it properly portrays the nihilistic worldview. The existence of good characters such as Boxer and Clover have led to no change in the status quo."

"Okay. I, uh, I never thought about it that way."

"My friend brought up that point in his English class. Nobody in his class had thought of it that way either."

_I can't say I'm surprised, Little Miss Emo._

_Okay, let's NOT mentally insult the person you're trying to hit on._

Luna thought for a moment, then asked, "Uh, what's your name?"

"Maggie."

"Okay. Cool. I'm, uh, I'm Luke. Luke Loud. Nice to meetcha." Luna proffered her hand to shake, and Maggie shook it somewhat reluctantly.

_Uh, now what?_

"So, uh, you having fun today?"

Maggie looked at her quizzically. "Fun? What's that?"

"It's, uh... Never mind. You like the music?"

"Eh. It's okay, I guess."

Luna nodded. "Yeah. Uh, me and my band are playing it."

"Okay."

_This girl is not making things easy for me._

"I play the guitar."

Maggie had picked up her book again. She didn't even look at Luna while responding. "Mm-hm."

_Why am I still trying?_

_Why did I even bother?_

Feeling extremely awkward, Luna turned around to look at her band mates. Jamie had rejoined Sam and Alex on the patio and had picked up his guitar. Catching her eye, he mouthed her name and waved her over. Luna held up her index finger to signify that she needed more time.

_Maybe I should be a little more direct?_

Luna turned back to Maggie, composed herself again, and asked her, "Uh, can I have your number?"

Startled, Maggie dropped her book and turned to gape at Luna. "What?"

Luna looked down in discomfort. "I said, can I have your number? Please?"

Maggie began to pull out her phone. "Uh, okay. Why?"

"Uh... 'Cause I, uh, 'cause I think you're cute?" Luna grinned weakly and blushed slightly after admitting her attraction.

Appearing uncomfortable, Maggie replied, "Thanks."

The two girls exchanged phone numbers.

Stuffing her phone back into her pocket, Luna said, "Uh, I gotta go now. We gotta start playing again. Bye."

Maggie gave a quick wave as Luna stood up and jogged back to the patio.

_YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS_

Eager for news, Sam turned to Luna as she picked up her guitar. "How did it go?"

Luna smiled. "Pretty well, I think. I got her number. So that's all good. But..."

"But what?"

Luna hesitated, uncertain how to explain her conundrum. "Uh... I... She thinks I'm a guy. I, uh, I called myself Luke."

Sam's eyes widened. "What?"

"I, uh... I... I didn't want to seem all... It's just... I didn't... I wasn't comfortable with just..."

Sam's face shifted to a more empathetic expression. "It's okay. I get it. But she's gonna find out at some point, I'm just warning you now."

Luna sighed resignedly, turning towards Jamie, who was standing by the microphone. The children had gathered round a card table covered with a plastic tablecloth and holding a vanilla-frosted cake. Mrs. Sue lit the candles on top of it, one by one, then turned to Jamie and gave him a thumbs-up.

Jamie proceeded to speak in a monotone, faux-formal tone. "So, we are gathered here today to witness Brooke enter into her ninth year of life. From hereafter..." He smiled. "Oh, to heck with the fancy talk. Let's just sing and get on with the eating."

Everybody began to sing "Happy Birthday" to Brooke, who simply smiled sheepishly. She then blew out the candles.

Jamie yelled, "Hit it!"

The band promptly began to play the song "Birthday". Mrs. Sue began to cut the cake and pass out slices to all the children. After the song ended, Jamie, Luna, and Alex raced over to retrieve their own slices. Sam remained at her keyboard.

Mrs. Sue called out to her, "Do you want any cake, Sam?"

Sam replied, "Nah, sorry. I have celiac disease." She hesitated for a few moments, then began to play "The Entertainer" with enthusiasm.

Luna snuck up behind Sam after she finished her song and yelled, "ENCOOOOORE!"

Sam jumped, nearly falling over. "NOT COOL!" she snapped.

"You sure you don't want any cake, dude?"

"I'm sure."

"But it's good!"

"I value my health more than my taste buds."

Luna leaned in towards Sam, grinning insincerely. "Are you suuuuuure?"

Sam leaned back in evident discomfort. "Will you please stop?"

Luna withdrew rapidly. "Oh, sorry," she apologised.

Out of the corner of her eye, Luna happened to glimpse Maggie speaking with a tall, dark-skinned woman. She appeared fairly exuberant; she gestured emphatically and wore a small smile on her pale face. As Maggie spoke, the woman's smile grew broad.

Maggie gestured with her thumb over her shoulder towards the patio where The Italians had set up their instruments. The lady looked over to where she was indicating and spotted Luna. Luna averted her eyes for a moment, then looked back up at the pair. The dark-skinned lady continued to smile at Maggie, who was presumably her daughter. She then looked back up, saw Luna looking at them, and winked.

Luna gave a half smile in return, then picked up her guitar.

Jamie turned to his band mates, who had all returned to the patio, and said, "My aunt says one more song, then presents, then party's over and you guys go home. I'm staying over tonight. So, you wanna play "Ants Marching" or "Two Princes"?"

The girls thought for a moment, then turned to each other. Alex piped up, "How about we let the kids vote on it?"

"Good idea," replied Jamie. He stepped up to the mic.

"So guys," he began, "we're gonna play you all one last song. This time, you get to pick which one we play!"

The children turned to him excitedly.

"So, would you like to hear "Ants Marching" by Dave Matthews Band or "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors?"

Somebody yelled, "Yes!" A few kids laughed.

Jamie frowned. "Okay. Raise your hand if you wanna hear "Ants Marching"."

Four kids raised their hands.

"How about "Two Princes"?"

Two kids raised their hands.

"Okay. "Ants Marching" it is!"

_Dang it. I really wanted to play "Two Princes"; I know it so much better._

Alex counted off, and Sam began to play the opening notes.

A couple of minutes into the song, Luna glanced around, looking for Maggie. She finally spotted her sitting where she had been sitting and reading before; only this time, Maggie was watching Luna play the guitar. Luna faltered for a second upon noticing Maggie's gaze.

_Oh geez oh geez oh geez she's TOTALLY JUDGING ME WHAT DO I DO_

_Chill. Just play as you normally would. And everything will be fine._

Luna took a deep breath, then proceeded to play the song with renewed determination.

_For those about to try and impress their crush, we salute you._

_I dunno if my heart's racing because of the music or Maggie._

After The Italians finished playing, Jamie sighed gratefully and picked up the mic again. "All right. So Brooke, you ready to open presents?"

Brooke grinned exuberantly and darted over to the card table on which her presents lay. Her guests followed behind her.

...

Luna sat in the passenger's seat of Alex's car as they drove back into Royal Woods. She gazed out the windshield with a faint smirk on her face, evidently lost in thought.

Alex asked, "What're you so **** happy about?"

Luna snapped back into the real world. "Oh, just got someone's number at the party. I'm pumped about that."

Alex smiled. "Ooh! Is he cute?"

Luna grimaced and sighed, though her smile did not completely vanish. "Well, uh, yeah, but he's a she."

From beneath her hair, Alex's eyes widened. "Really? You're into girls?"

Luna curled up into a ball sheepishly, wishing the conversation could end. "Y-yeah. I am."

"Hunh. That's kind of a shock."

Sam piped up from the back seat, "You have no idea."

"Whaddya mean?"

Luna receded as far as she could into the upholstery. "Uh... I used to have a crush on Sam."

Alex's eyes widened again. "Oh really?"

Sam said in a regretful tone, "Yeah. First person who ever kissed me."

"****, girl."

Alex parked the car in Sam's house's driveway. They got out of the car and unloaded their sound equipment into Sam's garage.

Sam walked into her house, calling, "See ya on Monday, guys!"

Luna and Alex waved.

Alex turned to Luna. "Need a ride home?"

"Nah, I can walk from here."

Luna paused for a moment before continuing: "Uh... Any advice on how to not **** this up?"

Alex replied, "I guess... Don't try serenading her. Patrick really started to get on my nerves after a while."

"Was that why you guys broke up?"

"Not really. That's a story for another day, though."

Alex climbed back into her car. "See you on Monday."

Luna waved. "Okay, see ya!"

Luna walked down the street towards her house as the sun sunk beneath the horizon.

* * *

**I'll just state it up front: the title references an old kid's show called _Maggie and the Ferocious Beast._ I watched it when I was little.**

**I very much recommend _Animal Farm._**

**I have no idea how Alex can drive safely with her hair in her eyes like that.**

**See you soon! I hope!**


	2. Texting, Texting, 1, 2, 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, well, the dates of publication for the chapters are about as accurate as I can get them. It's based off of the FFN traffic graph.

**I'm kind of surprised I didn't get more reviews saying stuff like, "WAT LUNAS PRETENDNING TO BE A GUY WAT WAT WAT I CANT EEVN"**

**But hey. This is the internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the little girls are FBI agents.**

**(I love that joke.)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

After carefully resting her guitar on a shelf in her garage, Luna turned the doorknob to the front door of her house. It snapped off, as usual.

"Dang it."

She walked around to the back, picking up a discarded tennis ball and dodging Lana and Cliff, who were chasing a rabbit.

She threw the ball at her window. Moments after the ball returned to Luna's hands, Luan threw open the window and called down, "Doorknob break again?"

"Yeah. Pass down the rope."

The window closed for a minute, then Luan reopened it and tossed down a sturdy nylon rope with knots tied into it at intervals.

"Didja anchor the rope properly this time?" Luna called, dropping the tennis ball and reaching for the rope.

"Yeah, I think so. I didn't wrap it around your hi-hat this time. It's tied to the bed. So the rope had BED-der not slip this time!"

Luna groaned and began to climb.

"Man, with you climbing up to my window and all, I feel like I'm Ra-PUN-zel!" Luan laughed, but Luna didn't.

"Shaddup." Luna grasped the windowsill and hauled herself into her room.

"Thanks for the lift, sis."

Luan began to untie the rope from the bedframe. "Not a problem. So, how did the concert go?"

Luna gave a half smile. "It was good." She then remembered how she had received Maggie's number, and her smile widened unconsciously.

Luan asked, raising her eyebrows and beginning to grin in response, "How good is good?"

Luna replied sheepishly, "Uh, I got a cute girl's number."

"Wow! Really? Good for you! You gonna text her?"

"Yeah; I'll text her now, if you want. I was planning on it, anyway."

Luna took her phone out of her pocket and opened up her messaging app, setting Maggie as her recipient.

Luna: sup maggie its luna

_[DELETE DELETE DELETE]_

Luna: sup maggie its luke

_Whew. Glad I caught that._

Luna sent the message, then fell backwards onto her bed.

_Time to play the waiting game._

Luan sat down next to her sister, turned to her, and asked eagerly, "Can I ask you some questions?"

_She looks like she's ready to burst from excitement. I better answer her._

"Yeah, sure, go ahead."

"What's this girl like?"

Luna sat upright. "Uh, her name's Maggie. She's got black hair, and she's really pale, and, uh..." Luna started to blush a little. "She's got a really impressive r-"

"No, I meant, what's her personality like? Also, didn't need to know that."

"Oh. She's kind of emo-ish. She seems really quiet and, what's the word... Nihilistic. She seems pretty chill, though."

"Okay. Didn't think that was your type, but to each her own."

"I guess I noticed her... figure before I noticed her character."

Luan snickered. "Insert obvious joke about female attributes here."

Luna grinned, feeling mildly ashamed of herself. "Not that either of us would know anything about that..."

They both laughed.

Luna's phone vibrated.

"Ooh, is that her?" inquired Luan.

Luna checked her phone.

Jamie: Sup brooke just wnatedto say thx 4 plnyaing 2 hr partu

_Dang it._

Luna's smile disappeared. "It was Jamie."

"Oh. Oh well. We can wait."

Luna: tell her np

Jamie: Kk

Luan asked, "Jamie says, 'KK'?" Are you sure he's not g-"

Luna interjected, "For the last time, NO! He's got a crush on a girl in my grade!"

"All right then." Luan sounded unconvinced.

They sat in silence for a little while.

Luan finally spoke up: "I finally GOTH some good puns for you!"

Luna facepalmed. "If you must."

Luan's face acquired an earsplitting grin. "Well, let's hope this girl doesn't toy around with your EMO-tions!"

Luna's phone buzzed.

_Good timing._

She picked it up.

Maggie: Hi, Luke. I didn't expect you to text me so soon.

Luna: i wasnt donig mush so here we r

Maggie: Just so you know, I'm a bit of a grammar Nazi.

Luna: oh sorry

Luan, who had been reading over Luna's shoulder, asked, "Why did she call you Luke?"

_****. Not this again._

Luna sighed. "I... I just thought it would be weird for her to have a girl come over out of the blue and ask for her number. It's just not something that happens. And it's not something that I really felt okay doing.

"I guess... I'm still not that comfortable with... being what I am. I mean, it's fine talking with you or Sam or someone else I'm close to about it, but someone who I don't know?"

Luna's phone buzzed again, but she ignored it.

"So I pretended to be a guy. She bought it. Here we are."

Luan smiled warmly and put her arm around her sister's tense shoulders. "I don't mean to insult, but BOY, was that a bad idea!"

Luna didn't smile or even groan. She just stared at her feet solemnly.

Luan responded rapidly and apologetically. "Hey hey hey hey! I didn't mean that in a bad way, I just wanted to make that joke!"

Luna nodded slowly, still solemn.

Luan looked at her sister with compassion. "I'm sure things will all work out in the-"

Luna began to sob. She buried her face into Luan's side. Surprised and concerned, Luan held her gently.

Between sniffles, Luna managed, "W-why d-d-do I have to b-be like th-this?"

* * *

**Why do I love being so mean to my characters?**

**Hope to see you soon!**


	3. Insert Creative Chapter Title Here

**Sorry for the long wait on this chapter.**

**I can't update for about a week and a half because robots. Don't worry, the next chapter will be completed. Eventually. Somehow.**

* * *

_I'm so glad I have such an accepting sister._

_I wish I were more like her._

_I wish I could be so accepting of me._

Luna finally calmed down, released herself from Luan's embrace, and checked her phone.

Maggie: Out of curiosity, how old are you?

Luna: 15 why?

Maggie: You're that old? I'm surprised.

Luna: why how old di you think i wss

Luna: did* sorey

Maggie: I thought you were 13, like me.

Luna recoiled in shock, nearly dropping her phone.

_OH ****!_

Luna: YOURE ONLY 13 WAHT

Luna: YOU DO NOT LOOK13

Maggie: Yeah, I get that a lot.

Luan gave her a look and asked, "What was that for?"

Luna replied, "Oh, uh, I didn't know she was 13. She looked older."

Luan remarked, "From how you described her, that's understandable."

_Well, at least I don't have to worry about having her in the same school as me._

_OH MAN WHAT IF SHE SEES ME IN A SKIRT THEN I'M ****ED_

_Eh, she's not gonna see me that often. I hope._

Luna: just curoius do u have siblings

Luna: btw sorry for all the spelking errors am i getting on your nerves?

Luan said, "Wait a minute. I think I know this kid."

Luna turned to her in surprise. "You do?"

"Yeah. I think I gave a birthday party for her over the summer."

"Oh cool."

Maggie: Yeah, I have a little brother named Tommy. You?

Maggie: It's okay.

Luna: have 10 siblnigs, 9 sisters 1 brother

_Annnnnd yet again I made a big grammatical error. I really gotta take the time to proofread my messages._

Maggie: Yikes! That sounds like a handful!

Luna: u hav no ieea cant believe the rents can deal

Maggie: Speaking of parents, my mother is scrutinizing your texts from over my shoulder.

Luna: same w my little sis

Maggie: Which one? Ha ha

Luna bolted upright, having just remembered something. "I forgot to tell the rents that I got home!" she exclaimed, setting down her phone and heading for the door to her room. "Be back in a few!"

Luna speedwalked through the upstairs hall, narrowly avoiding a collision with Lynn and her nine-iron, who was fencing with Lana. She slid down the banister and nearly crashed into her father, who was walking to the foot of the stairs and removing his sauce-stained apron. Apparently, dinner was ready.

"Oh, hey, Lunes! I must not have seen you come in! What's shaking?" he said.

Luna replied, "Sorry for not checking in with you, Dad. I've been laying low upstairs."

"Not a problem, kiddo. So, how did the performance go?"

"It was pretty chill. I, uh, I met a cute girl."

Mr. Loud beamed and jostled his daughter's shoulder. "Atta girl!" He then noted the faint expression of concern on Luna's face. "Something wrong?"

"Uh..." Luna began sheepishly. "I... I tricked her into thinking I was a dude."

Mr. Loud appeared stunned momentarily, then he beamed. "That's... actually great! Now I can finally relate to one of my children's relationship problems! Now come on; we're having fettuccine for dinner tonight!"

Luna smiled. "Nice! New recipe?"

"Yup! I guess for tonight, it'll have to be 'winner winner pasta dinner'!"

Luna chuckled as she sat down in the dining room.

Her father walked back to the foot of the stairs and yelled, "DINNER'S READY!" He dove out of the way as an avalanche of girls (and one boy) stampeded down the stairs, eager to consume the evening's meal.

...

_**** it. I got alfredo sauce all over my good pants._

_The food was good, though._

Luna tossed her pants into the laundry basket and slipped on her nightgown.

Her phone buzzed. Luan picked it up. "It's from Sam."

"'Kay." Luna took the phone and sat down on her bed.

Sam: DID YOU TEXT THE GIRL YET!

Luna: YEAH

Sam: :D WHAT DID SHE SAY

Luna: just takked a bit

Luna: she seems choll

Sam: :) :) :) :)

Luna: hbu

Sam: What do you meam?

Luna: any positive guy-devekipments in ur lifd

Sam: No :| But what else is nww?

Luna: ha gotta do my hwk now c u l8t

Sam: Muskrat

Luna: muskrat

_I have no intention of doing homework._

_Maybe I should get a head start on my chem lab report?_

Luna looked over to her desk guiltily.

_Nah. It's not due until Tuesday._

Luna opened up a notepad app on her phone, flipping through all of her half-finished song ideas. She selected one at random.

_"Your world turns upside down, without a reason why..."_

_Hey! I remember writing that! Wasn't that the day I fell in love with Sam?_

_Yeah, and playing "Hotel Califor-"_

_DUDE GET OVER IT_

_So, ideas ideas..._

Luna pondered the phrase for a while before coming up with an idea. She rapidly entered it into her phone.

___"You learn a certain fact, and all you do is cry._ _ _

_______"The things you thought you knew, they were in fact a lie._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____"I thought I was fine but I'm not."_ _ _ _ _

Luna smiled to herself.

_____I think I'm on to something here._ _ _ _ _

_____Yeah, **** chemistry._ _ _ _ _

* * *

**Muskrat muskrat muskrat**

****See you later!** **


	4. Basically Zero Actual Plot Advancement

**I apologise for the long absence; I was at a robotics competition in Boston.**

**Here is some clarification for the odd plot premise:**

**Luna is not transgender, nor does she like dressing in drag. She merely acted based on her impulse, on the perception that pretending to be a boy seemed like a good idea at the time.**

**Mr. Loud's reaction to Luna's revelation of faking her gender towards Maggie is due to his inability to empathise properly with his other daughters' crushes, so he's inordinately excited about being able to empathise with Luna. I know he seemed a bit creepy and out of character, but I hope you understand.**

**Well, I hope I didn't scare any of you away (I must not have if you're still reading this), and enjoy!**

* * *

Luna eagerly strode over to her usual lunch table, where Sam and Mia were already seated. Sam turned to her and asked, "Moon Unit! You look pumped! What's up?"

Luna replied, "I wrote a song last weekend! Wanna hear it?"

Sam and Mia nodded in affirmation, pleased to see their friend so excited.

Luna nearly began singing, but Mia cut her off. "Tall Kate's heading over. Let's wait for her."

Luna looked around for Tall Kate, but didn't see her. _She must still be in the lunch line._

She noticed Short Kate sitting at her usual table, pencil poised over her sketchpad, observing her out of the corner of her eye. Upon registering Luna's gaze, Short Kate quickly looked down at her unopened lunch box and set down her pencil.

Shortly thereafter, Tall Kate set down her lunch tray between Luna and Sam. "How's it going, guys?"

Sam said, "Uh, Luna was just going to share a song she wrote a couple days ago. You interested?"

"Not particularly."

Luna, crestfallen, turned away. Sam gave Tall Kate a withering look.

"What?" Tall Kate asked defensively.

"**** it, Kate," admonished Mia.

Tall Kate was silent for a moment before suddenly realising her insensitivity. "Oh ****. I'm sorry, Luna; I'm a dumb***."

Luna looked up from the cafeteria table, forced a small smile, and replied, "It's all good, bro." She then returned to staring at the table, noticing the words _ROONEY EATS IT_ carved into the table in block capitals.

Tall Kate continued, "I guess I'm being such an ***hole 'cuz I broke up with Henry on Saturday."

Luna noticed movement over at Short Kate's table; Short Kate stood up, hesitantly gazing towards Luna's table again. She made a motion as though wanting to go there but stopped short.

_What's her deal?_

"Oh. That sucks," commented Mia.

Sam looked up at Tall Kate, barely concealing a smile. Tall Kate noticed her eagerness and suspiciously asked, "Is there something you'd like to admit to me?"

_I'm betting Sam's gonna try and pair Tall Kate with Jamie. I hope it works._

Sam began, "Well, for starters, just to make sure you're aware, I'm not into girls."

Tall Kate nodded, looking only partially convinced.

Luna piped up, "I can vouch for that."

Mia, confused by Luna's comment, asked, "Wait, what?"

Short Kate spoke up in a soft voice: "Uh... hi?"

The people sitting around Luna's table all looked over to her.

"Can... can I sit with you guys?" Short Kate looked ready to shrink out of sight.

_Well, thanks, Kate. You saved me an awkward moment._

Sam smiled warmly and replied, "Of course!"

Mia quipped, "You're perfectly capable of sitting with us."

Sam gave Mia a look and said, "Not helping!"

Short Kate sat between Mia and Sam. She set down her sketchpad and began to draw again.

Sam turned to Tall Kate and said, "So, I know a guy who's got a crush on you. If you're interested, I'll give you his number."

Tall Kate blinked, thinking. "Uh... Not right now. Don't want Henry ****ed at me."

Mia asked, "You mean he isn't already?"

"Nah, he was understanding and wants us to stay friends. It's just that he texted me WAY too much, to annoying levels. I mean, he'd never had a girlfriend before, so I can get that. I was just fed up."

"Gotcha."

_Kind of an odd thing to break up about, but hey. She's doing what works for her._

Tall Kate asked, "So, uh, how 'bout that song, Luna?"

Luna replied, "Actually, come to think about it, I'd rather show you guys it later. I'm gonna run it by Patrick first."

"Who's that?"

Sam explained, "He's my brother. He's on break from college for the week, and he started my and Luna's band, so we'll all be jamming together."

"Oh. All right then."

Luna unwrapped a peanut-butter-and-fluff sandwich and took a bite out of it. Likewise, the rest of the girls at the table began to eat their lunch, except for Short Kate, who continued to draw.

Luna asked Short Kate, "Why aren't you eating?"

Short Kate peered at Luna over the edge of her thick-framed glasses and replied curtly, "I eat quickly. I'm not hungry now. I'll draw now and eat later." She then returned to her sketch.

Sam asked, "What are you drawing?"

Short Kate turned around her sketchpad so all the girls could see it. On it was a half-finished picture of a Hispanic girl with claws coming out of her hands.

Sam smiled. "X-23? Nice."

Short Kate smiled back shyly. "Thanks."

They ate (or drew) in silence for a few minutes, then Short Kate muttered something unintelligible.

Tall Kate asked, "What's that?"

"Poser alert," Short Kate said more distinctly, gesturing with her pencil towards a blond girl clad in a purple flannel shirt, tight black jeans, and a purple headband, standing not more than 20 feet away from the table.

_Hey! That's what's-her-name... Coral? Carol? What the **** is she doing?_

The girl appeared to be flirting with two guys, a red-haired junior named Jimmy and a brown-haired senior named Greg.

Tall Kate smirked. "Carol ****ing Pingrey. I've got an idea."

She took her unopened straw (she had been drinking her milk directly from the carton), carefully tore the wrapper in half, removed one half, took careful aim, and blew the wrapper directly at Carol's neck. It struck its target successfully, and Carol slapped her hand to the back of her neck, muttering indistinctly and angrily. Her demeanour quickly changed back to a hokey friendliness, however, once Jimmy and Greg started to look at her confusedly. Luna heard her say something along the lines of "stupid fly".

Tall Kate giggled with malevolent glee. "She's making a complete *** of herself!" The other girls similarly snickered as Tall Kate fitted the other half of the straw wrapper to her straw, took aim, and fired again, this time hitting Carol in the left wrist. Carol's hand jerked upwards, smacking Jimmy in the nose. He exclaimed in surprise and pain, cradling his nose in his hand.

The girls at the table were all laughing hysterically now, even Short Kate. Carol heard the laughter and turned to see them. The girls abruptly froze.

Carol glared at them all, then stomped away, huffing, "Stupid ****ing sophomores..."

Mia shook her head and commented, "That girl needs to lighten up."

Luna added, "Yeah, she's got one **** of a stick up her ***."

The girls chuckled, resuming their eating.

_****, Tall Kate's friggin' great._

_Can't wait to meet Pat for once! I hope he likes my song!_

Luna smiled. _Today's gonna continue to be a good day._

_But seriously, what's the deal with Short Kate?_

_OH ****! I TOTALLY FORGOT TO MESSAGE BACK TO MAGGIE WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT HER POEM!_

Luna's face contorted in anxiety. She rapidly removed her phone, opened up an email from Maggie, and read it through as carefully as possible.

* * *

**Contained within is a cameo of two awesome _Loud House_ fanfic authors, JamesSunderlandsPillow and lttlgreg. I was just going to reference Pillow to get back at him for his ref of my story, "Listen to the Band" (which I invite you to check out if you haven't already), but I decided to throw in Greg too, just for the heck of it. I invite you to read their stories.**

**I hope you got the _Ferris Bueller's Day Off_ reference. Now go home; the chapter's over.**

**(YOUR *** IS MIN- sorry wrong person)**


	5. JAM SESH

**FYI: I do read all of your reviews, although I may not reply to them all.**

**Thanks for your continued support, and I'm sorry for the delays. I'll try to post updates more frequently, although that may not happen.**

**Hope the wait was worth it!**

* * *

_I can't wait to meet Patrick. From what I've heard, he seems chill._

Luna strolled down the street towards Sam's house, her guitar slung across her back and a binder full of sheet music in her hand.

When she finally neared the driveway leading to Sam's house, she saw Sam leaning up against the one closed garage door with a young man standing next to her. The stranger had shaggy blond hair and wore a dark green jacket and black jeans. He smiled and strode over to her as she turned down the driveway.

The young man extended his hand and introduced himself: "Hey, I'm Patrick, Sam's brother. You're Luna, right?"

Luna shook Patrick's hand. "Yup. Nice to finally meet'cha."

"You too. I've heard a lot about you from Sam." Patrick's brows furrowed disapprovingly, although he retained a faint smirk. "Especially about that one incident a couple weeks ago."

_Ah jeez. Is he mad at me for kissing his sister?_

Luna retreated a couple of paces, throwing up her hands defensively. "Look," she began awkwardly, "I-I didn't mean any harm by it. I'm over her now, and I'm not gonna make any more moves on your sister."

Sam looked down at the incredibly fascinating driveway, kicking her feet embarrassedly.

Patrick replied, "'Kay. Sam seems to trust you, so I do too." His face brightened. "Me and Sam set up the stuff already. I'd like to hear you play."

Luna beamed. "Can do, dude! Let's rock!" She darted into the garage, set down her binder of music, swung her guitar around to her front, and plugged it into an amp.

Patrick picked up his own camouflage-patterned guitar, strummed a quick power chord, then played the opening to "Dueling Banjos". Sam laughed. Luna grinned and responded in kind.

"Okay, seriously now," said Patrick. "Play something."

Luna nodded, pondering a good song idea.

_Smoke on th- No._

_OOH! "STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN"!_

_No, that's clichéd._

_How about "Jimmy Olsen's Blues"?_

_That's a decent one. Let's go with that._

Luna fiddled with the reverb on her guitar, then began to play the opening, skipping the verses and transferring smoothly into playing the bridge. She stopped and looked up at Sam and Patrick, who were watching her intently.

Patrick said, "Nicely done. You're pretty **** good. I liked the custom transition right into the bridge."

Luna said, "Yeah, I practice ad-libbing stuff a lot."

_He likes my playing! That's a good sign!_

"So we're gonna wait until Jamie and Alex get here, and then I have a proposition for you guys."

Patrick took out his phone and plugged it into a portable speaker.

Curious, Luna asked, "What's that for?"

With a mischievous smile, Patrick replied, "You'll see."

Sam piped up, "Yo Pat, Luna says she has a song that she wrote that she wants you to look at."

Patrick replied, "Sounds cool, but I'd rather wait until the rest of th-"

Just then, Jamie and Alex walked into the garage.

"Well, would you speak of the devils! Wassup, guys?"

Jamie exclaimed, "Patrick! How ya doing, pal?" The two boys hugged.

"Pretty good, my protégé. It's nice to be back."

"You like college so far?"

"Yeah, it's cool. I like the freedom, but it can be hard to time-manage."

Alex walked over to Patrick. "Sup, dumb***."

Patrick fistbumped Alex. "Hey, how you doing?"

"Pretty good. Seeing anyone new?"

"Nah, it's only you who's been able to put up with me thus far. But hey; I'm not giving up hope just yet. You?"

Alex shrugged. "Still single. I'm resigned to it at this point."

"You'll find someone eventually, I'm sure. Don't give up."

Jamie looked over at Luna and asked her, "So, what did Patrick think of your playing?"

"He said that I'm, quote, 'pretty **** good', unquote. That high praise?"

"Yeah, totally! He's not really one for compliments, so whatever you did, he must've liked it."

"Eh, I just played some of 'Jimmy Olsen's Blues'."

"Oh? Patrick's got a soft spot for the Spin Doctors. I mean, not as much as for the Beatles, but still."

_That was fortuitous._

"I'll keep that in mind. Oh, by the way, Tall Kate says she broke up with Henry the other day."

Jamie's eyebrows shot up. "Oh really?" He grinned broadly.

"Yep! Sam asked her if she was interested in dating anybody else, referring to you, but she said not now, not so soon."

"I've waited this long for her; I can wait a couple more weeks."

Luna gave him a playful punch on the arm. "That's the spirit! Keep hope alive, bro!"

_Jamie's acting a bit stalker-ish but I'm not one to judge. I know he doesn't mean it creepily._

Patrick spoke up. "Hey, guys! I wanna share this song with you guys; I think you'll like it."

"Okay, cool," replied Jamie.

Patrick opened up YouTube on his phone and searched for a video. "A bit of background: my roommate is really into electronic music, so it's been growing on me a bit. He knew that I like rock and roll, so he shared this song with me a couple months ago. It's sort of rock as created by a computer. I liked it, and I wanna hear what you think of it."

He turned on the song.

_Okay, this song's just awesome. It's real fast-paced and it's got catchy melodies._

_Okay, that bit with the robot voice is weird, but it's not that bad. Kind of adds to the mood._

When the song finished, Patrick asked, "So! What did you all think?"

_Good song! 8 out of 10; would listen again._

Everyone began to make positive exclamations.

"All right! Good! I'm glad. Well, I was thinking about making an arrangement that the five of us could play. What do you guys think?"

Everyone made positive exclamations again.

"All right, nice! I'll have to get to work on that starting tonight. But for now-"

Alex interrupted him. "What's the name of the song?"

"Oh, it's called 'Electroman Adventures v2' by Waterflame. The dude makes good music. Take a listen."

"Right, cool."

Patrick continued. "Luna says she's got a song that she wrote that she wants to share with us."

Luna remarked, "You'd be right." She stood up and removed a sheet of paper from her binder.

_Hoo boy. Here we go._

Luna said somewhat sheepishly, "So, uh, guys, this is just a song I wrote about my inner turmoil. Hope you like it."

She began to play and sing:

"Your world turns upside down, without a reason why.  
You learn a certain fact, and all you do is cry.  
The things you thought you knew, they were in fact a lie.  
I thought I was fine but I'm not.

"I woke up, thinking that I would have just a normal day.  
I learned in time something inside me felt a different way.  
They scared me, these new feelings. I thought, What would people say?  
I hoped 'gainst hope that maybe I might end out A-OK.

"Your world turns upside down, without a reason why.  
You learn a certain fact, and all you do is cry.  
The things you thought you knew, they were in fact a lie.  
I thought I was fine but I'm not.

"Perhaps it was illusive what I thought, felt, and perceived.  
Perhaps my mind was filled with lies society conceived.  
Those thoughts were wrong. If I believed them, I would be deceived.  
I wish I could be normal, but I no longer believed.

"Your world turns upside down, without a reason why.  
You learn a certain fact, and all you do is cry.  
The things you thought you knew, they were in fact a lie.  
I thought I was fine but I'm not."

She stopped. Her eyes were welling with tears.

Everybody was silent.

"That was deep," commented Jamie.

Patrick nodded in approval.

Alex merely smiled.

Sam walked over to Luna and gave her a tight hug. Luna broke out in tears.

Patrick turned to Jamie and Alex and said, "We'll let those two have their sweet moment. Let's get set up to play... uh, how about 'Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da'?"

"Sounds good," replied Alex, thumbing through a file folder on the floor for the relevant music.

Patrick stood in place and watched his sister comfort Luna. He shook his head in wonder. "How'd you get to be so kind, Sam," he muttered under his breath, just loud enough for Sam and Luna to hear. "You told me 'bout how you were trying to turn down Luna gently, and how you felt so bad for Luna getting upset, and I was just like, 'Wow; I'd never have been that nice'. I dunno what happened right with you, but anyways, I'm proud of you, sis."

_He's so **** right. Sam's amazing._

_Welp better get ahold of myself now; gotta play some ****_

Luna broke free from Sam's embrace and picked up her guitar, taking the sheet music from Alex and drying her eyes.

Sam said to Patrick, "Thanks, bro. I dunno what happened right with me, either."

Patrick's face contorted in shock. "Oh ****, was I monologuing out loud?"

Luna and Sam laughed. "Yeah."

Luna added, "By the way, any recs for how to improve my song?"

Patrick shrugged. "I guess, try not to cry while performing it live? It's good. I like the rhyme scheme."

"Yes, iambic meter. Thank you, English class. And if you need any help with the 'Electroman Adventures' thing, lemme know."

"Gotcha." Smiling, Patrick picked up his guitar. "Count off, Alex."

* * *

**Don't worry, Maggie will appear next chapter. I just wanted to write in Patrick and check back in with the Italians.**

**The song that Luna sings is my original work. It took way longer to write than it should have.**

**...And Luna cries yet again. I'm a horrible person.**

**Here's to trying not to make Sam a Mary Sue (definition: a perfect character; an author's pet) and to just making her a genuinely nice person.**

**Hope to see you soon! But first, I need sleep.**


	6. Another Self-Deprecating Chapter Title

**I'm really sorry that this chapter took so long to complete. I'm writing with no buffer, and I've had a lot going on lately. I've also been feeling a little uninspired with the story; I know where the story is headed, but I'm not sure how it will get there yet. Don't worry, I'm going to finish it.**

**Thank you very much for continuing to read, despite all of my delays. I'll try to get the next one out sooner. I hope you enjoy this latest installment.**

**Trigger warnings for philosophy and existential crises.**

* * *

Luna was walking home from Sam's house when she felt her phone buzz. She pulled it out of the pocket of her windbreaker. Maggie had texted her.

Maggie: You haven't told me what you thought of my poem yet.

_Ah ****. I totally forgot, what with retouching my song lyrics and restringing my guitar and finishing my lab report at the last possible minute._

Luna: oh sorry i forgot bc chemistry

Maggie: It's fine. Just let me know soon, okay? I'm writing it for a poetry slam for a friend.

Luna: gotcha

Luna's eyes suddenly lit up with a crazy idea.

Luna: u wanna meeet somewnere adn talk aboit it?

Luna reached the entrance to her house. She tentatively rotated the doorknob, which didn't fall off this time. However, as she sighed in relief, her guitar swung to the side and struck the electric doorbell. She jolted up as several volts of electricity discharged into her body. Luna fell to the ground with a thud, moaning in pain. She got up slowly and shakily, staggering through the open doorway, her hair standing on end.

_****, that hurt! I better get that doorbell covered up before it does in another repairman!_

_RIP, Mr. Anderson._

Luna dragged herself up towards her room, ducking under Lynn attempting to jump down all the stairs in the house at once. Lynn landed on the third step from the bottom, and her momentum carried her down the rest. She hit the floor with a sickening thud.

"Lynn! Careful!" called down Luna. "I don't want you breaking both your arms again!"

"I'm fine!" responded Lynn with a tone that was far south of fine. "If Paula can play basketball on crutches, what's a broken arm gonna do to hinder me? I don't need my arms to run, you know."

Luna shook her head gingerly. _I'm never gonna get through to her._ "Just be careful!"

"Look who's talking, Electric Boogaloo!"

Luna pulled herself up the rest of the stairs via the banister. _I could really use an aspirin or two. Or ten._

She stumbled to the bathroom, only to find the door closed and locked. She heard the sound of running water and faint, off-key singing. A sign hung on the doorknob, reading "Lori is Showering Come Back in 45 Minutes".

_Dang it._

Luna walked to her room, placed her guitar in a corner, climbed up to her bunk, and collapsed on it. She checked her phone.

_Maggie didn't message me back yet._

_Five bucks says she's talking to her mum about this._

Luna pondered the repercussions of the text that she had sent.

_OH **** I BASICALLY ASKED HER OUT_

_Well, I knew that, BUT STILL_

_You can't take it back now._

_Better wait and see._

Lisa suddenly opened the door, outfitted with a handheld device that resembled a Geiger counter.

"What is the cause of your mental turbulence, elder sibling?" she inquired.

_It's like she's got something to prove, what with all those giant words and all._

Luna countered, "How'dja know I was in a funk?"

Lisa held aloft her Geiger counter-esque device. "This is a remote autonomic bodily system monitoring unit, or a RABSMU for short. I feel that the name is self-explanatory with regards to its operation."

_That's a sucky acronym. And no. It's not._

Lisa continued, "I repeat: What is the cause of your mental turbulence?"

Luna folded her arms with a pugnacious smirk. "That's none of your beeswax."

Lisa nodded haughtily. "Oh. Are you unwilling to divulge your introspections because of my inferior age? I will have you know that I have a more sizeable IQ than you shall ever attain. Indeed, that ought to make me your superior. Now, kindly share with your superior the information which I requested of you."

Fortuitously, Luna's phone buzzed. She picked it up, happy for a reason, no matter how shallow, to ignore her intrusive sister.

Maggie had finally texted her back.

Maggie: I do not understand what you mean. Do you just mean about the poem, or do you have an ulterior motive? If so, what is your motive?

_No wonder it took her so long to respond. Texts aren't supposed to be novels._

_Okay. So do I tell her the truth? Or not?_

_I should really just go ahead and say it. I wanna be frank with Maggie, since apparently you're supposed to be open in relationships._

_That's not really what I meant, but okay._

_Shaddup, subtext-finding part of me_

_Truth? You've been lying to her from the get-go._

_Uh..._

_That's different._

Luna: u got me, i have an ulterilr motive and it is a quasi-date?

Luna looked up from her phone. Lisa had apparently left earlier in frustration.

After taking a deep sigh, she hit the "send" button.

_Was that a mistake?_

_I'm not sure._

_Only time will tell now._

...

Luna uneasily walked into Ketcham Park, wearing a black jacket and grey sweatpants. She pulled her purple hat down over her ears to keep out the cold. She scanned the almost-empty park, noting the few people who braved the wind to get some fresh air. She saw two tall girls playing a game of pick-up basketball at a hoop mounted to a street light. She saw a young man jogging with a stroller. She saw an elderly lady in a motorised wheelchair feeding the ducks in the pond.

She saw a girl with dark hair sitting on a bench in the fetal position.

Luna jogged over to Maggie. She slowed down upon nearing her for fear of seeming too enthusiastic.

Maggie looked up at the sound of feet crunching on dead leaves, saw Luna approaching, and said, "Hello, Luke."

Luna anxiously replied, "Uh, hey yourself." She remained standing for the entirety of an awkwardly long pause, during which they avoided looking at each other.

Maggie eventually asked, "Would you like to sit down?"

Luna nodded and sat on the bench, being careful to leave a wide berth between them.

Maggie drew a notepad out from her coat pocket, flipped it open, and handed it to Luna. "Here is the poem. Tell me what you think of it."

Luna took the notepad and read the poem.

_Oh, jeez._

_No wonder these emo kids all seem depressed; if I read these types of poems all the time, I'd probably get dysthymia._

Luna handed Maggie back the notepad, then buried her face in her hands in order to think.

Maggie cocked her head quizzically, then asked, "What did you think?"

"Uh..."

_How the **** do I let her down lightly?_

"It... It was... thought-provoking."

Keeping the same quizzical expression, Maggie asked, "In what way?"

"Uh... It made me think about..."

_Screw this._

"You basically gave me an existential crisis."

Maggie turned to face forward, grinned faintly, and pumped her fist. "Yesssss!"

_... what?_

_I'll probably never understand emo kids._

_Well, you live with one._

_But she likes, what is it,_ Princess Pony Power Hour _or some ****?_ _Seriously?_

_Eh, I'll prob'ly figure her out more as I get to know her._

Apparently, Maggie noticed Luna's expression of utter bewilderment, because she asked, "Luke?"

Luna didn't respond.

"Luke?"

Luna finally realised that Maggie was talking to her. "Yo?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, still suffering from the side effects of the poem is all."

Maggie nodded and turned away.

The two girls sat awkwardly for a minute or so, not speaking.

_Okay, this is getting ridiculous. I'd better say something?_

"So, how's school going?"

Maggie didn't look up from her notepad, where she was writing something. "It is dull."

_Fission mailed._

"How about you?"

_Maybe not._

"It's going good. I guess. Besides history; my teacher sucks."

"Oh?"

Luna was happy for the opportunity to rant. "Yeah; Mrs. Driver is always giving us busy work, and she doesn't really teach us the material so much as recite the stuff we had to take notes on in the textbook."

"Well, that sounds dreadful. I hope to not have her teach me."

"You'd be lucky to not. So, what makes school so dull?"

"The work is too easy. My classmates are shallow phonies. The teachers overlook me."

"Why d'ya think they're phonies?"

Maggie grimaced. "They are all too absorbed in their pointless material existences to truly consider the big questions about existence; specifically, why existence is pointless in the first place."

_Nihilist. Okay._

"Pointless? Why do you think so?"

"Well, we are all going to die in the end. Eventually, the human race will be wiped out, most likely as a result of our (I shudder to include myself among this atrocious species) hedonistic... flamboyances."

Luna struggled to hide a chuckle. _Flamboyances?_

Maggie continued: "So, since we will all die and the world will keep turning - ****, even the planet will cease to exist eventually - what does it really matter at the end of the day, or year, or century, what we do? It is foolishness to believe that... uh... it's foolish to be narcissistic when we're really but a spark in the vast blackness known as the universe that could be extinguished in the blink of an eye."

Luna nodded, pondering Maggie's diatribe and half-heartedly considering counterclaims. _Mr. Hart would be proud of me; he'd always have us do debates on current issues. Nothing philosophical, but still._

"And this relates back to your classmates... how?"

"They're concerned only with the here and now, and they find themselves hung up over insignificant, physical issues."

_Physical issues? What?_

"Whaddya mean by that?"

Maggie hesitated before continuing. "Uh... You have noticed... that I do not... uh... I don't have a look befitting that of a thirteen-year-old?"

_Welp_

_Time to be honest!_

"Uh, yeah... you look a good deal older than you are. I mean, you're good-looking as far as... Uh, you've got... Ah ****." Luna facepalmed internally. "Well, I get it. I don't exactly look... Puberty hasn't really struck yet, I guess." She chuckled nervously, looking down at her (thankfully) underdeveloped self.

Maggie frowned before responding: "I was referring to my manner of dress, but yes, I've received my share of crass comments based on my appearance as well."

Luna nodded. "Yeah. I've gotten judged pretty harsh on my delinquent-y threads. I heard people call me some sort of detriment to society. I've gotten called out for my paperclips a lot. This one dude, Brent, asked me if I was planning on breaking in somewhere. Some chick asked me if I was a guy or a girl once, and I nearly slug-"

Maggie interrupted, "Let's change the subject."

"Yes. Good idea."

_I was getting away from myself with that rant._

_I've got a good counterclaim now._

Luna slowly said, "So, uh, in going back to that whole rant you were doing, uh, nothing we do matters, you say?"

"No."

"So you could stab someone in the eye and that'd be all right?"

Maggie frowned. "I guess so."

Luna shook her head slowly. "I gotta say I disagree with ya, dude. There's something that's keeping most of us - well, the rational-thinking ones, anyway - from doing crazy **** like going on murder sprees or kicking over old people's mailboxes or that sort of stuff. We got something in our logic circuits that stops us from doing that, irregardless of it having beneficiality to us or whatever, so what we do, I guess, does matter to a point. You know, 'cause you're not just gonna up and kill yourself unless there's something up with your logic, right?"

Maggie looked down at her feet. She didn't respond.

_Did I say something wrong? Is she just thinking, or what's up?_

Luna asked, "What's up?"

Maggie didn't respond.

_She looks... I dunno… what's the word? Kind of like sad and freaked out at the same time?_

_Defensive?_

"Maggie?"

Maggie snapped out of her melancholy fugue. "Wha- what? I am sorry; I just got lost in thought."

Luna nodded. "Okay, changing the topic. You got any pets?"

Maggie replied in a measured, monotone voice: "No. My mother is allergic."

"That sucks. Would you like a pet?"

"No."

_This conversation just shut down hard._

_A shame; it was going pretty well._

Luna stood up. "I gotta go now; got some friggin' DBQ **** to write for Driver. See ya later?"

Maggie nodded, not turning her head. "I suppose so. Goodbye."

Luna walked towards home.

_That didn't go too bad. That's good._

* * *

**I take comedic injury way too seriously.**

**I'm now tempted to write a story regarding Lisa and her latest invention.**

**Mrs. Driver may or may not be based on a history teacher I had in high school.**

**Luna got in big trouble with her parents when she was in fifth grade for playing baseball with Lynn and hitting Mr. Grouse's mailbox; that's why she's so opposed to knocking over mailboxes.**

**See you soon!**


	7. Whoops

Luna arrived at her room to find Luan eagerly standing at the door.

"So, how was your da-ate?" she asked in a sing-song voice.

Luna huffed, "It wasn't a date, for the last time!"

"It went badly, then?"

Luna fell backwards into a beanbag chair. "No. She actually talked to me. We carried on a rad conversation, but then I had to go and blow it." She sighed heavily.

Luan crouched down next to her. "What happened?"

Luna stared at her own feet. "I must've said something wrong. I'm trying to explain why nihilism isn't right, and she all of a sudden shuts down on me. It's like, she was opening up to me, but then snap. She's back to stage 1."

Luan thought for a while. "I'm no expert on relationships, but my guess is that she just GOTH tired of the conversation!"

Luna groaned. "Strike one."

"Oh, come on! I was just trying to lighten the mood! Who can blame me?"

"Dude. This is serious girl-talk time."

"Oh, you're no fun. Don't be so EMO-tional!"

Luna gritted her teeth. "Strike two. Please, dude, I need help. Just be serious."

_I'm having serious misgivings about talking to Luan._

Luan replied, "I think you need to chill out for a little while. I dunno, maybe strum some tunes; BOY, do you love doing that!" She couldn't help but laugh at her own joke.

Luna stalked out of the room. "Strike three. I'm out."

"I couldn't resist!"

_She has no understanding of social cues._

_Now who do I talk to?_

_Can't talk to Sam; she said something about going to some "Holy Day of Abnegation" or something._

_How 'bout Lori? She's in a relationship, a successful one no less._

Luna ducked underneath a heat-seeking paper airplane and knocked on the door to Lori's room. There was no response, but she could hear fragments of conversation from within.

She tried the handle; surprisingly, it wasn't locked.

Lori was saying, "... TELLING you, this is why you're stretching my-"

Lori, Leni, and Luna all froze in place.

Lori was holding a measuring tape in both hands, and Leni was in the middle of unhooking her bra.

_WELP_

Luna turned around and walked back through the door.

Leni called after her, "Hi Luna!"

Luna turned to close the door; she caught a glimpse of her ditzy sister waving. She shut the door just before she heard the soft thwump of neglected clothing hitting the floor.

Lori yelled, "AAAAH! LOCK THE DOOR!"

_WELP_

_Now who do I talk to?_

_How 'bout Popstar?_

Luna frowned.

_That's a no from me._

_Uh..._

_Lincoln?_

_Actually, that's not a bad idea. He's a good people person, if a bit naïve._

Luna walked down the hallway towards Lincoln's room. She was struck in the ear by the heat-seeking paper airplane, but she shrugged it off.

_Dang it, Lisa._

Luna knocked on the door to Lincoln's room. From within, Lincoln called, "Who is it?"

"It's Luna! Can we chat real quick?"

"Okay, sure! Hang on a sec!"

Luna heard her brother inside saying something, presumably to Ronnie Anne. He would always Skype with her around this time of day.

Lincoln opened the door. "Come on in," he said with a friendly grin.

Luna entered the room and sat on the edge of Lincoln's bed. Lincoln shut the door and sat right next to her.

"So, what's the problem?" he began.

Luna sighed. "So, you know where I was earlier today?"

Lincoln nodded. "You were on a date with the pale girl from that birthday party?"

"It wasn't a - Oh, what the heck. It kind of was. We really didn't do anything 'sides sit and chat, though."

Lincoln smiled. "Good for you."

"Yeah, I guess. It's just that... I was just talking with her, and she's not really a chatty person, you know, being emo and all, but she's opening up to me. Then all of a sudden, she totally shuts down on me. She just clams up, and I'm not totally sure why."

Lincoln thought for a couple of moments, then asked, "Uh, what were you saying before she stopped talking to you?"

Luna replied, "I think I was saying something like, 'Oh, this is why nihilism doesn't work; it's 'cuz people have got a moral compass, which is why only people who've got some mental problem are gonna kill themselves' or something along those lines."

Lincoln placed his head in his hands, ruminating on what his sister had told him. Luna did likewise.

_I dunno about emo teens..._

_I'd better look up more about them later._

_So, what DO I know about emos? Maybe that'll help._

_So they dress in dark clothes_

_Dark hair_

_Talk about death and suicide a lot..._

_Oh ****._

Luna said, feeling queasy, "I think I figured it out."

Lincoln asked, "What?"

"Maggie's suicidal."

Lincoln looked stunned. "Oh. Oh boy."

"Yep."

"And you made that comment about suicide and crazy people."

Luna felt sick to her stomach. She doubled over, clutching her knees. "Yep."

"Well then. That's a problem."

Luna attempted to shrink from view. "Yep."

Lincoln sighed. "I... I'm not sure how to help you on this one. I guess... Just don't mention suicide again and Maggie probably won't have any more problems."

"Okay. Cool. Thanks, bro."

Luna sighed and opened up the door. She promptly was struck in the face by another heat-seeking paper airplane.

"LISA!" she yelled.

Luna walked back into her room. Luan appeared to have vacated it some time ago. She collapsed on her bunk.

_Now what?_

_Let's just pretend that never happened._

Luna sighed, took out her phone, inserted her earbuds, and opened up a browser.

_Eh, just for the **** of it..._

She typed into the search bar, "how to date an emo", pressed "Enter", and tapped the first link that opened up.

Luna read through the article silently.

_So she's probably not a mean emo..._

_I'll have to check myself for rat poison just in case, though._

…

Luna sat patiently at the cafeteria table, waiting for Sam to arrive. Mia and Tall Kate were currently engaged in an altercation regarding whether or not the _Ready Player One_ movie was any good.

"Listen, I actually READ the book, and it was nothing LIKE the book!"

"So? The _Last of the Mohicans_ movie was barely like the book, but you called it, and I quote, '****ing amazing'?"

"Since when do you read classic literature?"

"Since you recommended it, dumb***!"

"Who are YOU to judge a movie when you don't know the source material?"

"It was good by my standards, not by some dumb*** book standards! And since when were adaptations supposed to be the same as the original material?"

"Oh, come on. So you're telling me you actually LIKED the Harry Potter movies?"

"Uh, yeah."

Mia stared at Tall Kate, mouth agape, for a couple of seconds.

Tall Kate interjected, "But what does that have to do with a movie?"

"Uh..."

"And isn't liking a movie good enough if you like it on its own terms, not the terms of some other dumb*** ****?"

"Well, look, YOU asked ME if I thought _Ready Player One_ was better than-"

Short Kate, who had quietly walked over to their table, said, "I thought that movie was horrible."

Luna, Tall Kate, and Mia all jumped.

Mia readjusted herself and remarked, "Good! Now THERE'S a Kate that has some sense!"

Short Kate smiled faintly as she sat down next to Luna.

Luna looked over and saw Sam approaching. She turned to Short Kate and said awkwardly, "Uh... That's... Uh, Sam usually sits there."

Short Kate stared at Luna for a mildly awkward few seconds, then replied, "So?"

Sam sat on the other side of Short Kate. "It's cool, dude," she remarked to Short Kate with a warm grin. "So, how're things?"

Short Kate merely shrugged.

Sam nodded. "'Kay. I won't push you." She turned to Luna.

_I know what's coming._

"So, how was your date yesterday?" she inquired eagerly.

Tall Kate perked up. "You went on a date?"

Luna facepalmed. "It wasn't..." She sighed in resignation. "It went okay, for the most part."

Tall Kate asked, "I don't mean to intrude, but who'd you go out with?"

Luna bit her lip. "You wouldn't know her. She's a thirteen-year-old emo chick named Maggie."

Tall Kate raised her eyebrows momentarily. Mia's jaw dropped. Upon realising it was open, she quickly closed it. Short Kate gave Luna a quizzical sidelong look.

Luna felt her face grow warm. "Okay. Let's ignore the fact that none of you knew that I'm not straight."

Sam raised her hand. "I knew."

"Shaddup. So, Maggie's real quiet, being an emo and all, but I managed to get her to open up a little, and I had a good conversation with her for a while. Then we're talking 'bout philosophy and all that ****, and then I make some mildly insensitive comment about suicide, and she clams up and doesn't talk to me at all the rest of the time. Me and my bro figured out that she's prob'ly suicidal or something and I triggered her."

Tall Kate commented, "That sucks." Mia nodded in agreement.

Sam asked, "So are you gonna try talking to her again?"

Luna nodded, half smiling. "Yeah. I'm gonna ask her to the park again, and I'm thinking maybe I'll play guitar or something. Hey, who doesn't like music?"

The other girls all smiled, except for Short Kate, who was staring at her sketchpad while deep in thought.

Sam clapped Luna on the shoulder and said, "Go for it, Moon Unit."

"All righty."

* * *

**I have read the article that Luna reads (it's called "How to Date an Emo Girl" on a website called Uncyclopedia). I recommend it. (Not the website; the article.)**

**I don't know what prompted the "rat poison" quip.**

**Yes, Luna does have classes other than lunch, but they're dull and unimportant to the storyline, so I'm ignoring their presence.**

**I haven't watched the _Ready Player One_ movie yet, but I've heard that it was mediocre.**

**See you soon!**


	8. Attempt 2

**All the songs that I have used and will use (besides the one that Luna wrote) are real songs. They're good songs. Look them up if you haven't heard of them. They are also not mine.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Luna: do u wanna hangout again on tusday?

Maggie: Certainly.

Luna: rad can i bring my guutar

Maggie: If you want.

Luna: k same place same time

Maggie: Okay. I will see you then.

Luna grinned and placed her phone back into the pocket of her jacket. The bus stopped at her street, and Luna and her sisters got off.

Leni asked nobody in particular, "Why is it called the sun?"

The other Louds gave her a look.

"I mean, they said in class today that the sun is, like, a star, so why don't we call it the star?"

Luan quipped, "I suppose that would make sense. After all, it does have a STAR-ring role in our lives!" She chuckled. Her elder sisters groaned.

Lori said, "I guess the sun is its name; a star is just literally what it is. I guess in the same way, we don't call people just 'human'; we call them by their names."

_Okay, so what songs do I play for an emo chick? What'd she like?_

_What is stereotypical emo music?_

_Nah; something different. She might not appreciate that._

_"Jumper"._

_NO_

_THAT IS NOT FUNNY_

Leni said, "Oh. Okay. Thanks."

"Don't mention it," replied Lori.

"Okay. I won't." Leni mimed zipping her lips shut, locking them, and throwing away the key.

Luan noted, "You forgot to roll up the window."

Leni asked, "What window? We're outside."

_"Flagpole Sitta"?_

_Eh, no._

_"Smooth Criminal"._

_Perfect. And I already know it, for the most part. It's tough, so I'll practice a bit._

_Anything else?_

Lori asked, "Uh, Luna? Our house is literally over here."

Luna had gotten caught up in her own thoughts and was walking down the road past her driveway.

"Whoops, sorry. Got caught up in thinking 'bout song stuff."

Luan quipped, "It's fine. We'll keep this in the PASSED."

Luna shot her sister a dirty look.

Lori took out her set of keys and unlocked the door. When she attempted to open it, the doorknob fell off, as per usual.

"Dang it."

…

Luna gave her acoustic guitar a practice strum while sitting on the bench in Ketcham Park.

_Where's Maggie? She was here early last time._

She looked around the park. The old lady on the scooter was back, feeding the ducks again. A brown-haired boy with glasses was being walked by two dogs.

From behind her, Maggie said, "Hello, Luke. It is nice to see you again."

Luna jumped, startled. "Gah!" she exclaimed.

Maggie walked around to face Luna. "Oh, did I startle you? I apologise."

"S'all good, dude. Here, take a seat."

Maggie sat down.

After a couple of seconds, Luna asked, "What sort of music do you like?"

Maggie shrugged. "I listen to whatever is playing, for the most part. I am not a fan of anything in particular. How about you?"

Luna grinned. "Dude, I'll listen to most anything! The only stuff I won't listen to are polka and EDM."

"May I inquire as to why?"

"Jeez, you sound just like my lil' sis."

"Which one?"

"Lisa."

"Like I said, which one?" Maggie expressed a faint smile.

_I feel like Maggie cracking a joke is a rarity._

Luna laughed. "The baby Einstein one."

Maggie nodded. "Again, may I inquire as to why you dislike polka and EDM?"

"Well, polka is just plain annoying. I hate the accordion."

Maggie nodded. "My father told me that his mother forced him to play the accordion when he was younger. I understand your pain."

Luna continued, "And EDM is just all the same sounding stuff, and the lyrics are all euphemisms for 'Let's you and me **** now', or something related. It just bugs the **** out of me."

Maggie nodded again.

"Uh, so, is there any particular song you'd like me to play?"

Confused, Maggie shook her head.

"'Kay then. I'm gonna play 'Ain't No Rest for the Wicked', then."

Luna picked up her guitar and began to play.

_Maggie seems a bit off-put by this._

_Eh, I've started playing already, and I'm not gonna stop._

Luna continued to play the song, singing along with the lyrics.

_It's a good thing I know this song well._

"I was walking down the street when out the corner of my eye

"I saw a pretty little thing approaching me.

"She said, 'I never seen a man who looks so all alone.

"'Could you use a little company?

"'If you pay the right price, your evening will be nice

"'Or you could go and send me on my way.'

"I said, 'You're such a sweet young thing,

"'Why you do this to yourself?'

"She looked at me and this is what she said."

_She's smiling._

_I think._

_It's hard to tell._

Luna finished the song with a final strum. She grabbed the bottle of water at her feet and took a drink.

Maggie commented, "That was really good. You're a good musician."

Luna beamed. "Thanks, dude! You have any song you'd want me to play?"

Maggie thought for a moment. "Do you know 'Transformation'?"

Luna simply stared at Maggie for a moment in bewilderment. Finally, her face lit up.

"Know that song? Dude, that is MY FAVOURITE SONG OF ALL TIME!" she yelled.

"Okay. Can you play it for me?"

"**** yes!"

Luna played the song with great gusto. In the meantime, the boy with glasses made his way over to them.

"Oh, hey, Maggie," he said. Luna stopped mid-stanza.

Maggie looked at him, and her expression instantaneously transformed into one of sullenness. "Hello, Ryan."

Ryan smirked slightly. "This your girlfriend?"

_HE KNOWS_

Maggie barked back, "His name is Luke and he is NOT my boyfriend. Go away."

Ryan cast up his hands defensively. "Jeez, Mags, I was just joking! Chillax!"

He turned to Luna. "Hey, Luke, can you play 'High School Never Ends'? It's my favourite song."

Luna shrugged. "Sure, bro. Have a good day."

Ryan said, "Thanks," and walked off, his dogs in tow.

After he was out of earshot, Luna asked Maggie, "Who was that?"

Maggie grimaced. "That was Ryan Fischer. He's a decent guy, but he's awfully insensitive. His twin brother, Evan, tried to date me. When I refused, he started making jokes that I was gay. I hate him."

"All right. I don't know that song, anyway."

"It's a good one."

They sat in silence for a moment.

Maggie extracted her phone from her sweater pocket and read a text message. She turned back to Luna and said, "My mother would like to meet you."

Luna was taken aback. _Oh boy._

"Uh... When?"

Maggie rapidly entered a message into her phone and sent it. A minute later, her phone vibrated, and she read the reply.

"She wants to know if you're willing to come over for dinner on Friday night."

_What do I do?_

_It'd be rude of me to turn her down._

_I'm not doing anything on Friday, am I?_

_Lynn has a game._

_Well, Lynn always has a game._

_I dunno; maybe it'd be nice to meet them._

_I am DEFINITELY asking Lori for help._

Luna replied with a halfhearted grin, "That's cool with me."

Luna took out her phone and sent a text to Lori.

Luna: i need ur advise asap when i get badk

Lori: Np

_Crap. What am I getting myself into?_

_Well, I hope her parents are nice._

"Still taking song requests, you know."

Maggie thought, then requested, "Could you play 'Another Brick in the Wall'?"

_I don't really remember that one, but I'll do my ****dest._

"Okay. Here goes."

Luna picked up her guitar again and began to play.

* * *

**I am not above making suicide jokes.**

**Thank you to Bing Search for the song lyrics.**

**I have already begun to lay out the final chapters. The plot will be much more cohesive now. The story will be done by the end of June. (It's about time.)**

**See you soon!**


	9. Meet the Parents, Part 1

**WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG CHAPTER (comparatively at least)**

* * *

In Lori's room, Luna frantically pleaded, "Maggie just invited me over her house on Friday! What do I do what do I do what do I do?"

Lori replied incredulously, "You go over there, moron! It's not that hard to figure out!"

"But... she thinks I'm a guy."

Lori was dumbstruck.

"Okay. That literally makes things more complicated. I guess... Don't wear a skirt. Or makeup."

"Yeah. I got that already." Luna cracked a wry grin.

"Uh..." Lori paused for a moment, lost in thought. "I guess Bobby wouldn't be a good example of what to do..."

* * *

**Flashback time!**

Luna heard the all-too-familiar sound of the Loud House's doorbell ringing and electrocuting the poor sap who pressed it. "I'll get it," she called, rising from the couch where she had been getting solidly trounced by Lincoln in _Super Smash Bros_.

She opened the door to find a young Hispanic man curled up in a ball on the front stoop, moaning from pain.

"Oh, hey, dude! You must be Bobby! Nice to meetcha!" Luna extended a hand to help up her sister's new boyfriend.

"Hi... ow..." he replied, his voice and body shaking.

Lana, Lola, Luan, Lincoln, and Lynn rapidly gathered around the doorway to meet this person whom their sister was interested in, ready and willing to test his mettle.

Bobby got to his feet and shook his head to clear it. "Am... Am I seeing five-tuple? There's like eight of you in the room."

"Nah, dude, that's just me and my sibs," replied Luna. She turned around and realised that Lori was not among the crowd of siblings. She whispered to Luan, "Where's Lori? It's HER man who's here!"

Luan whispered back, "She and Leni are upstairs doing her makeup. Still. They said they'd be ready in ten minutes..." She checked the clock on the VCR. "...Eight hours ago?"

"Clock's wrong. It's close to 5."

"Oh. Two hours, then."

Bobby stared at the sisters, confused. He finally saw the blond Lola.

"Lori?" he asked her. "That you, babe?"

"Uh, what?" said Lola.

Bobby ran over to her, picked her up and kissed her on the cheek. "Lori! You look shorter in person! And you smell amazing!"

Lola wriggled out from his grasp. "I'M NOT LORI, YOU PEASANT!" she hollered, before quickly calming down and smiling sweetly. "Oh, and thanks. I borrowed some of my dad's perfume since SOMEBODY, Lucy, didn't leave me enough hot water for my weekly BUBBLE BATH!"

"What can I say?" Lucy appeared from behind everyone, causing them all to jump. Bobby shrieked like a little girl and fainted into Luan's startled arms. "I needed time to think. Also, if the bathroom is dark and you imagine hard enough, you can pretend you're bathing in blood."

The sisters exchanged concerned looks, then they all sidled away from Lucy.

Luan quipped, "Oh look! Bobby FELL for me! Here, I'll wake him up." She squirted him with water from her trick flower.

"Nuh…" groaned Bobby, coming to. Upon seeing where he was, all he could do was emit a flabbergasted "Wha...?"

Luan said, "WATER you doing, passing out on me like that?" She giggled obnoxiously. "Get it?"

"What are you doing, indeed?"

The sisters all turned to see Lori, clad in her best tank top and capri pants, descending the stairs with a furious expression on her face, accompanied by Leni, who for whatever reason had a mascara brush and hand mirror stuck to her face.

Luan dropped Bobby on the floor. "Sorry," she managed with a sheepish grin.

Lori rushed over to Bobby and picked him up off of the hardwood floor. "Bobby Boo Boo Bear, speak to me! Are you all right?"

Bobby gave a thumbs-up and replied, "I'm all good, babe. Hey, did you get taller?"

Lori glared at Luan. She gently laid Bobby back down, stalked over to her, and whispered in her ear, "You and I will literally have a serious talking-to after Boo Bo- after Bobby leaves."

Luan replied, "Surely you can't be serious?"

"I AM serious, and I'm not going to finish your setup!" Lori walked back over to her boyfriend and helped him to his feet. "Why is there water all over your face?"

As Bobby explained, Luan turned to Luna and said, "Eh. One for two. That's better than she usually does."

Luna sang in a mocking tone, "Round round round round, I get around..."

Luan folded her arms and pouted. "Oh, shut up."

Lisa ran to the top of the stairs, cautiously walked down them, and ran over to her siblings and Bobby. "I apologise for my tardiness. My siesta ran considerably longer than is typical, no thanks to Luna over there." She leveled an accusatory finger at the sibling in question.

Luna threw up her hands. "Sorry, little dude. Didn't know you were still snoozing the other day. I'll have to knock first next time."

Lisa waved a dismissing hand at Luna, then continued, "I see that Lori's latest paramour has arrived." She walked over and vigorously shook Bobby's hand. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Bobby."

Bobby looked at her, then looked around the room. He asked Lori, "How many sisters do you HAVE?"

Lori curtly replied, "Ten."

"Nine AND a brother," corrected Lincoln.

"Sorry, Linc. Yes. Nine sisters, one brother. Shall I introduce you?"

Bobby said, "Sure, babe."

While the considerably long introductions transpired, Luna made her way over to Leni. "Hey, sis, what's with the getup?"

Leni replied, "Oh, I got up at 8 this morning. Why? Did I miss something interesting?"

"No. I meant, what've you got on your face?"

"Oh! Do you like it? It's my makeup!"

"What?"

"Well, Lori said I could practice putting makeup on her face for tonight, but she, like, changed her mind really fast and said I should practice on my own face. So here I am, with makeup on!" She gestured towards her oddly adorned face.

_Oh, for God's sake._

_Well, that explains why they took two hours._

"It... looks nice?" commented Luna with a hokey grin.

"Thanks!"

_I suppose we should let the ritual testing commence._

Luna tapped Lynn on the shoulder and whispered, "Let the boy-testing commence. Pass it on." She did the same thing to Leni and Luan.

Luan softly replied, "You know I'm not a fan of that, ever since you guys roasted the crap out of Eddie."

"It was a shame he couldn't handle us. Eddie was a nice kid. He would've made a great boyfriend had he not been so sensitive to loud noise."

Luan snapped, "For the last time, I was NOT interested in him! He was over my house so we could finish a SCIENCE EXPERIMENT, that's all!"

"Oh? You're not going to experiment any more?"

"No. I'm not interested in any guys. And stop making puns, that's MY shtick."

Luna leaned backwards in mock surprise. "Oh! Looks like Lori owes me a buck. We were betting on which one of us would come out first, and it looks like it's you."

_I just love teasing her._

Luan gaped. "I AM NOT A LESBIAN!" she yelled.

All the siblings and Bobby turned to stare at Luan. Lori and Lynn developed insincere grins.

"Ooh, looks like SOMEONE's in denial!" teased Lynn.

Luan facepalmed and blushed. "Oh for God's sake..."

Lori started giggling, then stopped. "Oh wait. I owe you a buck, Luna." She took out a dollar bill and gave it to Luna.

Luna replied, "Thanks! Wait. Who were you betting on?"

Lori replied, "You."

_WELP_

"Wait, are YOU gay too?" Noticing Luna's microexpression of utter terror, Lori began to giggle again.

"NO, I'm NOT!"

_Well, technically, I'm not._

Lori shook her head while saying, "I believe you."

Mr. and Mrs. Loud all walked into the living room. "Kids, kids, settle down," called Mrs. Loud. "Why don't you all set the table for dinner while we talk to Bobby?"

The Loud siblings all swarmed into the kitchen to grab utensils and plates.

"Luan! We want to talk to you too!" called Mr. Loud. Luan set down her placemats and stormed back into the living room, grumbling under her breath.

…

At the dinner table, Lynn made her move. She set her fork up so that it was balancing on the edge of her glass and placed a piece of dinner roll on its tines.

"Hey, Bobby! Catch!" She slammed her palm down on the fork's handle, catapulting the piece of roll at Bobby. He yelled and ducked beneath the edible projectile. It careened off of the top of his head and struck Mrs. Loud in the face as she entered the dining room.

"Lynn Anne Loud Jr! What have I told you about playing with your food?"

Lynn shrank back into her chair. "Uh... to not do it?"

"Exactly. Now, no more fooling around. We have company." Mrs. Loud pulled out her chair and sat down.

Luan entered the room a minute later. She sat down next to Luna.

Luna whispered to her, "Why're you so late?"

Luan replied begrudgingly, "It took me twenty minutes to convince Mom that I'm not gay. Thanks a lot."

Luna snickered.

Luan then whispered, "I also took the opportunity to plant some pranks. I am PRANK-ful for that!" She giggled.

Luna sighed. She noticed Lori glaring daggers at Luan.

_I better do something to fix the misunderstanding._

_But what?_

Luna asked, "Uh, Bobby? Why d'you like Lori so much in the first place?"

Bobby thought for a little while, then responded: "I dunno. I guess I just saw her one day, and I saw how smart and popular she was, and I thought, 'Oh, I've been thinking about getting a girlfriend 'cuz my sister's been bugging me about how I'm single so I'll try my luck with her'. And she's blond. I definitely like blondes."

Lisa interjected from the kitchen: "Indeed, I have been reading an early 20th-century novel that proposes the theory that gentlemen prefer blondes. I would judge your claim to be accurate."

_Well, I know I like blondes._

_Shut up._

Lori looked at Bobby, then at Luan, then back at Bobby. She ceased glaring at her.

_Mission accomplished!_

_Now what am I gonna do to test Bobby?_

_OOH! Ask him to listen to my latest jams, crank the amp all the way up, and see how he reacts!_

_Perfect._

Lynn asked, "You have a sister? What's she like?"

"Oh, she's super sporty and likes video games and skateboarding and stuff. She's a tomboy for sure."

"Oh cool! How old is she?"

Bobby took the time to count on his fingers. "Uh, she's... eight, twelve, fourteen, eleven! She's eleven."

Lynn called to Lincoln, "Hey, Bobby says he's got a sister in your grade!"

Lincoln replied, "Oh cool! What's her name?"

Bobby said, "Ronnie-Anne."

Lincoln did not respond. Luna leaned over in her chair to see how Lincoln had reacted. His face bore a look of utter disbelief. She tilted her chair back just before she heard a loud slap from the kitchen. Lincoln yelled, "OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

Lana replied nonchalantly, "Had to get you to stop staring at the wall somehow."

Luan elbowed Luna and whispered, "I've got a FEELING that Linc's got feelings for this girl!"

Luna ignored her.

Mr. Loud asked Bobby, "So, uh, have you been thinking about college yet?"

"Yeah, I'm planning on going to this community college in the city, near my cousins. I think I'd just live with them for a while. My uncle also teaches there, so that's a plus."

"Oh, neat. It's good to see a young person with a plan for their future these days."

Luna heard Lincoln indistinctly mutter something about being "a man with a plan, too".

Lori asked Bobby, "Uh, Boo Boo Bear, you said something about an eye doctor's appointment?"

"Yeah; I postponed it so I could meet all you guys! I've had a whole bunch of bosses tell me I need glasses, though."

"A whole bunch?" asked Mrs. Loud.

"Yeah, I've picked up a bunch of summer jobs to help out my mom. Let's see... what haven't I done?" Bobby started to count on his fingers again.

"He works at the Burpin' Burger," interjected Lori. "Among other places."

The chatter from the kitchen stopped.

"Really?" asked Lola.

"Yeah; I came here right from my shift there." Bobby looked down at his outfit: he was still wearing his Burpin' Burger uniform. "Dang it. I was wondering why your mom kept looking at me weirdly."

Lori merely smiled and replied, "I love a man in uniform, covered in grease stains or not." She gave Bobby a tight hug.

Lori looked down at herself and recoiled. "Ew, now there's burger juice on my shirt."

_Oh, what a pity._

…

Luna treaded cautiously up the stairs to her bedroom, on high alert for Luan's pranks. She toed one step, saw that it was loose, and nimbly hopped over it. When she got to the top of the stairs, she took out a canister of Silly String and sprayed it down the hall. It landed on two tripwires, which she carefully stepped over, picking up the Silly String along the way. She saw that her door was ajar, then felt the doorknob with the back of her hand. Sensing nothing peculiar, she pushed open the door and stepped in, only for a bucket full of ice water to fall on her head.

"GAAAH!" Luna exclaimed.

Luan, sitting on her bed, laughed. "I just couldn't resist seeing you kick the bucket like that! Don't worry, the rest of the room is prank-free."

Luna sighed and threw the bucket at her sister. She grabbed a towel from her closet and dried her face, hands, and hair. She plugged her amp into the wall, plugged her guitar into the amp, and turned up the volume to its highest setting. Then she climbed onto her own bed to listen for Bobby.

Soon enough, she heard Bobby yell, "AAAAAH! RACCOONS!", and heard loud, angry squeaks emanate from the hallway. She heard frantic, stumbling footsteps hurry down the hall, and then she heard a solid THWUMP as Bobby hit the ground, and then another series of THUMPs as Lynn's pitching machine fired up. Luan started to laugh, and Luna couldn't help but join in.

Between giggles, Luan managed, "Forget what I said about this being a bad idea! It's a-HAZE-ingly fun!"

Bobby stumbled into Luan and Luna's room, covered with cuts and bruises. A tennis ball had lodged itself in the pocket of his apron. "So... glad... I... got... rabies... shot..." he gasped before collapsing on the floor.

"Looks like you had a BALL out there!" joked Luan. She and Luna collapsed in hysterics again. Bobby merely groaned.

_I think that was a pain-groan, not a bad-joke-groan._

Luna inserted earplugs into her ears and jumped to the floor with a mischievous smile on her freckled face. "Hey, dude! You wanna hear some of my jams?" she yelled.

_I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK_

_THESE ARE GOOD EARPLUGS_

Bobby muttered something which Luna couldn't make out.

She yelled back, "What?"

Luan turned to her and shouted, "He said, 'Yeah sure'!"

"All right! Great!" Luna picked up her guitar. "ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!"

Bobby slowly stood up and moved to the beanbag chair. "Yeah!" Luna barely heard him say.

Luna turned the amp towards him and strummed a power chord. Bobby was thrown backwards into the wall. Luan, too, was caught off balance. She quickly stuffed her fingers in her ears.

_Okay, now what's a song that can be played really loudly and sound about the same?_

Luna started playing "Enter Sandman".

Lori ran into the room, saw Bobby pinned against the wall by the force of the music, and yelled, "LUNA, STOP!"

Luna stopped playing. Bobby sank to the floor, mumbling, "Rad".

Lori ranted, "No more music! No more pranks! No more tea parties! No more mud pies! No more raccoons! We are LITERALLY DONE!"

Luan turned to Luna and whispered something. Luna replied, "What?", then remembered to remove her earplugs.

Luan repeated, "No more sisters' dirty looks?" Luna chuckled.

Lori picked up Bobby and carried him out of the room.

"Well, that was fun while it lasted."

"Agreed, sis."

**End of flashback**

* * *

Luna winced and said, "Yeah, no. That's a bad idea."

Lori sighed. "So, I guess, just literally don't do anything that he did, and you'll be fine."

"Gotcha. So, be really mean to Maggie's parents?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh, by the way, don't tell anyone else about me and the guy thing."

"I won't."

"Won't tell anyone about what?" Leni walked into the room, her hair wrapped in a towel.

"Uh, nothing," Luna said.

"Yeah, whatever you heard, don't tell anyone else," added Lori.

Smiling widely, Leni replied, "Okay!" She then opened up the door to the room and called out, "Guys, Lori wants you to not tell anyone else that Luna's pretending to be a boy!"

All that could be heard was a stunned silence. Luna mentally facepalmed and tried to shrink out of sight.

Mrs. Loud yelled from downstairs, "LUNA LOUD! I WANT TO TALK WITH YOU!"

_GOD ****ING **** IT, LENI_

…

Luna, wearing a black polo shirt and grey slacks, rapped on the door to Maggie's house. There was no response. Against her better judgment, she decided to ring the door bell. It didn't electrocute her.

Within a moment, a short man with black hair and a sullen expression opened the door. "May I help you?"

_He looks kinda familiar._

Luna put on her best smile and said, "Hi! I'm Luke Loud. Is Maggie here?"

The man's facial expression didn't change in the slightest. "Yes, she is. This is her home and it's a school night; where else would she be?"

Luna shrugged. "Can I come in?"

"If you must." The man, who was presumably Maggie's father, stepped aside to let her in.

_I see where Maggie gets it from._

Luna stepped inside a small foyer, wiping her shoes on the doormat. There was no sign of Maggie. She turned to Maggie's father. "Uh, Maggie invited me here. Where is she?"

"She is inside this house."

_He's not helping at all._

A curly-haired boy, about nine years old, ran into the room. Upon seeing Luna, he turned to the stairs and yelled, "MAGGIE! THAT BOY'S HERE! COME ON!"

A few seconds later, Maggie came running down the stairs, clad in a black turtleneck and jeans.

_Daaaaang. She looks good._

_Oh, shut up._

"Uh, hey, Maggie," began Luna with an awkward wave.

Maggie nodded in her direction, then walked briskly into the next room.

Luna and the boy exchanged glances. She asked, "What's up with her?"

"Oh, her mom's been freaking out about how there's this strange guy coming over. She wants everything to be perfect for this date."

Luna retorted, "It's NOT a- forget it." She sighed. "What's your name, little dude?"

"I'm Tommy. What's yours?"

"Lun- Luke. How's things?"

"Pretty good."

They stood in silence for a minute. Tommy kept giving Luna sidelong looks.

Luna finally spoke: "In case you're wondering, I haven't kissed your sister."

Tommy stuck out his tongue. "Good. That would be gross."

Maggie's mother finally walked into the foyer. "Kiss who's sister now?"

Luna quickly replied, "Uh, nothing."

The lady extended a hand. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Luke! I'm Mrs. Sawyer! Maggie's told me so much about you!"

Maggie suddenly appeared in the hallway leading to the dining room. "The only reason I've said so much is because you kept pestering me about it."

Mrs. Sawyer ignored her daughter. "Come on into the dining room, Luke! Dinner's almost ready!"

Maggie led Luna into the dining room, which was cluttered with papers and boxes.

Luna commented, "That's a lot of dead trees right there."

_Man, I'm glad Luan isn't here._

_I hope that was just a phase for her._

Maggie replied, "Yes. It took me two hours to clear off the table and sort everything."

"What does your mom do, write?"

"No. She is a teacher."

"Ah." Luna sat down in the chair on the side nearest the door. Maggie sat down opposite her.

Mrs. Sawyer walked in holding a large dish full of spaghetti and meatballs. "This was all I could make on such short notice," she commented. "I hope you like it."

_OH YES_

"No, miss, I like spaghetti! It's all good! Thank you very much for dinner!"

"Not a problem, Luke."

Mrs. Sawyer took out a serving spoon and placed it in the dish. Luna took it and started spooning spaghetti and meatballs onto her plate. Shortly thereafter, Maggie's father and brother walked into the room and took a seat.

"What would everybody like to drink?" asked Mrs. Sawyer.

"Uh, water's fine for me," replied Luna.

"I would like soda," said Maggie.

Maggie's father replied, "I also want soda."

"I'll take orange juice," replied Tommy.

Mrs. Sawyer walked into the kitchen, then returned shortly thereafter, bearing several glasses. She distributed them to everyone and sat down to eat.

They all ate in silence for a little while, then Mrs. Sawyer said, "So, Maggie says you have ten sisters."

"Nine and a brother," corrected Luna.

"Yes. That's still pretty crazy."

"Yeah, it's mental sometimes, but we somehow manage to get along all the same. Honestly, I wouldn't trade it for the world."

"How 'bout the universe?" asked Tommy. "Or the galaxy?"

"Nope, not those either."

"Uh..." Tommy tried to think up something to top his earlier claims. "How about all the galaxies?"

Maggie commented, "That would be the universe."

"Oh, right. How 'bout all the universes?"

Luna replied, "Nope!"

Tommy kept thinking.

Luna asked Maggie, "You like your brother? He seems cool."

"Yes. We get along splendidly, although he is rather too optimistic for my liking."

"I'm right here, you know," commented Tommy.

"Yes you are," sarcastically replied Maggie.

_Wait, I think I remember who the father is._

"Hey, Mr. Sawyer? Aren't you that sports announcer guy?"

Mr. Sawyer nodded. "Yes."

"Is your name actually 'Pep'?"

"No. My friends in college gave me that nickname as an ironic reminder of my sardonic nature."

"Ah. I see."

They continued to eat and shoot the breeze for a while. When Luna finished her meal, she said, "Thanks again for dinner, Mrs. Sawyer!"

"Not a problem, kiddo."

_Kiddo? I'm FIFTEEN._

Tommy stood up and yanked on Luna's shirt sleeve. "Hey, Luke! You wanna play video games with me?"

"Of course! What games do you have?"

"I'll show you! Hey, Mom! Can I play video games with Luke?"

Mrs. Sawyer responded, "Certainly. Ask your sister if she wants to play, too."

Before Tommy could say anything more, Maggie rose and said, "I will join you if you want."

Tommy ran down the hallway and up the stairs to what appeared to be a guest room. It contained a twin bed, a television, an xBox 360, and a large Nerf gun. He opened up a cabinet under the television, revealing a shelf of video games. "What do you want to play?"

"Anything but _Super Smash Bros._ Whaddya have?"

"We have _Lego Batman_ , _Burnout Revenge_ , _Spiderman_..."

_Hm... I dunno. They all sound pretty cool._

When Tommy finished, Luna said, "Maggie, you pick."

Maggie grimaced and said, "Burnout Revenge."

Tommy inserted the game disc into the console and handed out controllers.

_What the **** is this game about?_

Luna turned on her controller and waited for the load screen to finish.

_Oh, it's a racing game. Okay. Weird name for a racing game._

_At least it's not_ Super Smash Bros.

Tommy scrolled through a few level selection screens. He cycled through a few different car choices before settling on one. Maggie did the same. When it was Luna's turn, she changed the car colour to red and hit enter.

"Ooh, going with the slow car, I see," commented Tommy.

Luna was confused. "What?"

"Some of the different cars are faster."

"Can I go back and change?"

The cars were positioned on a track which looked like it was on a Florida boardwalk.

_Apparently not._

At the Go signal, all three kids sped their cars forward.

Maggie dodged a truck and slammed into the rear of a sedan.

_You can crash into cars? Awesome!_

Luna veered into the left lane and smashed headlong into an SUV. The screen jumped to a cutscene of Luna's car flipping over and landing on the side of the road.

"WHAT?"

Tommy commented, "Oh, you can't crash into oncoming traffic."

Luna's car appeared back where it had landed. She drove it forward, narrowly missing a collision with another car, and hopped back over to the right side of the road.

"You can't?"

"Nope."

Maggie careened into a lamp post, knocking it over. Tommy sped along a boardwalk and caught air off a ramp.

"How 'bout trucks?" Luna steered her car sideways into an eighteen-wheeler. Her car spun out in another cutscene.

"Dang it."

"No, you can't hit trucks, either. Also, don't hit trucks in the oncoming lane."

"Thanks for the tip," Luna said sarcastically.

Maggie pressed a button on her controller, speeding up her car. Luna was dumbstruck.

"How... how are you doing that?"

"You press the A button," replied Maggie.

Luna tapped the A button. Nothing happened. She mashed it for a couple of seconds. Still nothing.

Tommy said, "You need to crash into cars and stuff in order to build up boost power."

"Okay," replied Luna shortly before she smashed into a Jersey barrier. The now dreaded cutscene popped up on her portion of the screen.

"Dang it!"

…

A few minutes later, Luna finally managed to finish her final lap. Tommy and Maggie had both finished about a minute before she did.

"Wanna play again?" asked Tommy.

_Eh, it was tough, but it was kinda fun._

Luna shrugged. "Sure, bro."

…

After about an hour of trying over and over again, Luna finally mastered the controls and almost beat Tommy a few times. They were racing on a track which looked like it was set in the mountains.

Luna spotted a shortcut and veered onto it.

Tommy warned, "Don't go that way! It's really tough to..."

It was too late. Luna's car was already hurtling off the wooden ramp and into the air.

The car hung in place for what seemed like a full minute...

...before it landed on the far side of the chasm.

Luna pumped her fist in the air. "YESSS!"

With her hand missing from her controller, her car lost control and careened into the chasm.

"FUUU-"

Mrs. Sawyer opened up the door to the room. "Five more minutes, then it's bedtime for you, Tommy."

"-udgecicles are my favourite dessert," Luna finished weakly.

Maggie couldn't help but laugh.

_YES I MADE HER LAUGH_

_EMO CHICKS 1, LUNA 2_

_Oh hey, that reminds me of that space joke Luan told me last week. What was it..._

_Right. In their baseball game yesterday, the final score was Apollo 17, Pathfinder 2._

_That was actually a good one._

Mrs. Sawyer warned, "Watch your language."

Channeling Luan, Luna replied, "English, what's yours?"

_Oh boy that might've been the wrong response_

Surprisingly, Mrs. Sawyer laughed.

"Really sorry for the foul-up there," Luna apologised.

"Not to worry. Just don't do it again and you'll be fine."

Luna finally finished her final lap, just behind Maggie.

Tommy asked his mother, "You wanna play?"

"No thank you. How about you go to bed now, though?"

"All right, sure!" Tommy turned off his controller and set it down. "Good night, Luke! It was nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meetcha too, little dude."

Tommy walked out of the room. Luna turned off her controller, pulled out her phone, and sent a text message to Lori:

Luna: can u pick me up im ready to go

Lori: B there in 5

Luna said to Mrs. Sawyer, "My sis is gonna pick me up soon. Thanks so much again for having me over."

Mrs. Sawyer took Luna's hand. "It was my pleasure! It was nice to meet you too, Luke! I'm pleased my daughter has such good taste in boys!"

Luna felt vaguely guilty.

_Well, I can't tell her in front of her parents. She'd freak._

_Sigh._

Luna turned to Maggie. "Thanks for having me over, Maggie."

Maggie shook her hand firmly. "Not a problem."

"Hey, if, uh, if you wanna, if you wanna come over to my house at all, lemme know."

Maggie nodded and smiled faintly. "I'll text you."

"Gotcha. See ya later, dude!"

Luna walked down the stairs and exited through the front door. She sat down on the stoop and waited for Lori to show up.

* * *

**I'm well overdue for a Luna-quotes-a-famous-song line. Sorry.**

**Yes, Bobby does need glasses. How else would he have mistaken Lily for Lori at the end of "Cover Girls"?**

**A no-prize goes to whoever knows what Maggie's name is referencing.**

**I do not own any of the video games listed above, but they're all good. _Burnout Revenge_ is an older game, but it's a classic.**

****I'm seriously trying to get the story done by the end of June. I have a lot left to write, though. The next two chapters may be posted simultaneously.** **

**See you soon!**


	10. Meet the Parents, Part 2

Luna reread the text message yet again.

Maggie: I am free on Saturday if you want me to come over.

_How do I get Maggie to come over and meet everybody without her figuring out that I'm not a guy?_

Luna continued to pace back and forth.

_Well, first of all, I gotta tell everyone about the sitch._

_At dinner?_

_Yeah, that'll work. Everyone'll be there._

…

After finishing her meal of reheated tortellini, Luna raised her hand.

Her mother said, "Honey? This isn't school. You can talk if you want."

"I just wanted to get everyone's attention. I got to tell you all something.

"So thanks to Leni, you guys all know that my crush, Maggie, thinks I'm a dude."

Everyone exchanged looks and then nodded.

"After I went over her house, I invited her over mine. She says she's free Saturday, so is it okay if she comes over?"

Mrs. Loud thought for a while.

_I bet she's running through our entire schedule in her head._

"You want me to grab you the desk calendar?"

Mrs. Loud replied, "Um, no, it's fine. Uh... Yeah, I don't have too much going on that day, save any last-minute dental appointments, so certainly, honey."

"Great! Thanks! Uh, so... Maggie doesn't know I'm not a guy, so could you guys all help me out and keep it a secret from her?"

The siblings all exchanged looks again.

Lana asked, "Why don't you just tell her you're a girl? It'd be easier."

_Sigh._

"It's... complicated. So, are ya gonna help me out or what? I'd get by with a little help from my family."

Everyone replied, "Of course!"

Lisa piped up, "Elder sibling, we cannot call you by your legal appellation, given that it is granted only unto females. What moniker would you rather us give you for that day?"

_Jeez, dude. English, please?_

"Uh..." Luna eventually deciphered Lisa's impenetrable speech. "Luke. Call me Luke."

Everyone started talking simultaneously, trying to figure out how to pull off the stunt.

"We gotta hide all the skirts!"

"There's too many skirts in this house as it is! I say we burn them!"

"No, let's not. There isn't enough fabric for girls to wear these days as it is."

"You're looking past the easy way out of this, you know."

"Do you want me to make you some hors d'oeuvres? It makes for a literally sophisticated party."

"Four legs good, two legs better!"

"And the eyeliner. That's gotta go."

"Ooh, I can, like, use it all up so she's not tempted!"

"I wonder if Maggie likes tea parties?"

"According to my personality calculations, Maggie is most apt to wish to convene with Lucy, so I encourage both you and Lynn to have the genderflip situation under complete control."

"We are NOT having another makeup fresco in the hall."

"How many games does Lynn have on Saturday?"

"Goo ga, ga ga boo!"

"Just three. And I got this. Don't fret."

"If this doesn't work, I'm heading to Kyrgyzstan."

"This would make for a great poem. Sigh. 'Chaos. My sister is now my brother. Not for long, though. We need to hide her. Weird. This is like a bad fanfiction plot. Chaos.'"

"Yeah, this is literally a bad idea."

"We also gotta hide the baby pictures."

"Well, isn't that a CHILD-ish endeavour!"

Amidst the chaos, Luna stood up, threw her dishes in the sink, and walked up to her room.

Luna: my folks say its fine if u come over so sure

…

Luna opened her eyes slowly.

_TODAY'S THE DAY_

She jumped out of bed and looked out the window. It had snowed the previous night, and the window was frosted over.

_It's so PRETTY out there! Too bad there's no school to cancel!_

Luna started singing, "It's beginning to look a lot like Christ-mas, everywhere you-"

Luan moaned, "Shadduuup."

Luna turned to her with an insincere grin. "Consider this payback for the time you woke me up at 6 in the morning yelling 'GOOOOOOOD MORNING VIETNAM!'"

Luan rotated over to face the wall.

_Forget her, let's get ready!_

_Maggie's coming over at 1 and leaving at 4. What time is it now?_

Luna looked at the clock, which read 08:22.

_How is Luan grumpy at 8 in the morning?_

_Oh, right. She was warming up the crowd for that dude at the Chortle Portal. What's his name... Stevie Wrong? Something like that?_

_I don't know how those people can possibly stand her. I'd be surprised if they could even sit her._

Luna started to chuckle.

_Right. Gotta get dressed._

_I gotta get away from this girl._

Luna walked over to her closet and scanned through the clothes.

_I should probably wear something semi-decent._

She picked out a forest green T-shirt with a faded Beatles logo on it and a pair of blue jeans.

_That's plenty decent enough._

_Oh, right! Gotta hide the skirts! And the dress!_

Luna shoved her skirts and dress to the corner of her closet and shut the door. She quickly got dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast.

After finishing a bowl of cereal, Luna broke out the vacuum.

_Gotta make sure the house is spotless._

She inserted her earbuds and cranked up the jams while she proceeded to vacuum the house.

"AWWWWW, BURNIN' DOWN THE HOUSE!" she sang.

_It's fortunate that we've never done that ourselves._

_Well, I came mighty close that one time with the electrical fire..._

Luna shuddered involuntarily, failing to notice her mother trying to say something to her.

_I guess it's a good thing that Lana's a quick hand with a garden hose._

She continued to sing along to the music. Finally, Mrs. Loud walked over to Luna and forcibly removed her earbuds. "Luna!"

Luna turned off the vacuum. "What's up?"

"You vacuumed yesterday. You don't need to vacuum again."

"Oh."

Luna unplugged the vacuum and put it away.

_Now what do I do?_

She walked back up to her room and opened the door, barely ducking under a thrown pie.

"I just wanted to say PRANK you for waking me up!" Luan giggled.

Luna sighed. "You're cleaning that up."

"PIE figured you'd say that!"

"Shaddup and get the sponge."

…

Luna saw a light blue sedan pull up in front of her house.

_Finally!_

_How long has it been, three hours?_

_Maybe I should've done more of my homework to pass the time?_

_Eh, **** chemistry._

She watched as Maggie exited the car and walked up to her house.

_MOGOSH IS MAGGIE WEARING A DRESS SHE LOOKS ADORBS_

_Dude. If you're gonna act the part of a guy, you gotta start thinking the part of a guy._

_LOL SHE HAWT_

_Forget it._

Luna ran downstairs to greet Maggie.

_OH NO THE DOORBELL_

Luna burst through the door. "DON'T TOUCH THE DOORBELL!" she hollered.

Maggie halted, her hand an inch away from the doorbell.

Nobody moved for a second.

Lucy appeared behind Luna and asked, "Is that her?"

Luna yelled and fell forwards into Maggie, knocking her off balance. Maggie put out her hand to stabilise herself, pressing the doorbell in the process. She jerked upwards as a jolt of electricity coursed through her, knocking her to the floor.

Luna grumbled, "Thanks a lot, Lucy."

"It was my pleasure. I find the experience of sudden pain, whether intentional or not, to be one of life's most reliable and ironic joys."

Maggie added, "There is a certain humour in schadenfreude, I suppose."

The two gloomy girls looked at each other in appreciation.

Luna got to her feet and helped Maggie up. She opened the door to find all of the Loud siblings (sans Lily) standing at the door with massive grins on their faces.

"What?"

Lori asked in the most sickeningly-sweet tone possible, "Is this your GIRRRRL-FRIEEEEEND?!"

"She's NOT my- oh, what the hel- uh, hello everybody."

Luna led Maggie into the house, which looked surprisingly neat. "These are all my sisters."

"And brother!" added Lincoln.

"And brother."

Luna proceeded to introduce Maggie to her many siblings.

After shaking everyone's hand (and wiping it off on her dress after shaking Lana's), Maggie asked, "Can I sit down?"

Luna pulled up an ottoman and replied, "Yeah, sure, sit here."

Maggie sat on the ottoman. She was almost immediately surrounded by girls asking her questions.

"Is your hair naturally black or is it dyed?"

"Do you like tea parties?"

"What's your opinion on kilts?"

"Have you ever played _The Sims_?"

"Why are your eyes visible?"

"Would you be disposed to participating in a study which I am conducting involving the analysis of fecal matter?"

"That dress is, like, totes adorbs!"

"You like _Street Fighter_?"

_Where'd Luan go?_

_Oh. Right._

_Oh boy._

_Where'd I leave the Silly String?_

Maggie responded, "In response to all of your questions, yes, no, they're creepy, no, so I can see, go away kid, thanks, and not really; I'm more partial to platformers."

_Well, that was impressive._

The Loud parents walked into the living room.

Mrs. Loud said, "Kids, step away from our guest." Luna's siblings backed off almost immediately.

She turned to Maggie. "I take it you're Maggie? It's so nice to finally meet you! I've heard a lot about you!"

Maggie shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you, too, ma'am."

_****! It's still in my room!_

_I'll just have to trigger the traps, then._

Mr. Loud asked, "So you're interested in, uh, our boy?"

Maggie quickly replied, "Yes. I mean no. No, yes. Wait... Ugh. It's... complicated."

Mrs. Loud smiled empathetically and nodded. "It's all right to not know. Uh, just be warned that... our kids do have a tendency to... what's the word? Rampantly relationship-"

"It's called 'shipping', Mom," Luna interjected.

"Yes. They're gonna 'ship' you and her- uh, him. So be careful."

Maggie nodded, processing the information.

Luna asked, "So, um, uh, whaddya wanna do now?"

Maggie replied, "I don't really care. What do you want to do?"

Luna thought.

_Better get the traps over with ASAP._

"Let's go up to my room."

_Okay. Remember the plan. Luan's temporarily staying in Linc's room, and he's staying with me, 'cuz that'd be weird otherwise._

_I hope they remember it._

Luna led Maggie up the stairs, carefully pressing down on each step to make sure it wouldn't trigger any pranks. She made it to the top of the stairs without incident, but her next step sent her stumbling over a tripwire. Luna landed on her face and braced for impact, but nothing hit her. She looked around: there were no pranks to be seen.

Luan emerged from Lincoln's room and asked, "Did you have a nice TRIP? Hahahahaha, get it?"

Luna grumbled, "Shut up."

Maggie stepped over her and walked down the hall. Luna got to her hands and knees and called after her, "Wait! There might be more tripwires! Watch it!"

Maggie didn't stop. She proceeded to walk to Luan and slap her upside the head.

Luna looked on in surprise.

_****, girl!_

After recovering from the blow, Luan quickly receded into Lincoln's room.

Maggie turned to Luna with an amused smirk. "I do that whenever my brother does something stupid. It's gotten him to stop. I have found that corporeal punishment is a highly effective technique for enforcing desired behaviour."

Lisa emerged. "Well, actually, when it comes to operant conditioning-"

Luna interrupted her little sister's tirade on behavioural psychology with a simple "Shaddup". She proceeded to enter her room and to lead Maggie in.

Lincoln looked up from the comic book that he had been reading on the beanbag chair, clad only in his victory undies. He stared at Maggie, then looked down at his lack of clothing. His face quickly became flushed.

_WELP_

"I... uh... I... I'm gonna go put on my clothes." Lincoln grabbed his shirt and pants from the floor and raced out of the room.

Maggie and Luna exchanged looks.

Luna spoke to clear the tension: "He... you know, annoying bros, amirite?"

Maggie smiled and nodded. "I understand."

"I think Linc and your bro... Tom... would probably get along pretty well. You know, they're both 'the game men'? 'Cuz they both like video games and all?"

"I agree."

Lola yelled from the hall, "ARE YOU GUYS MAKING KISSY FACE YET OR WHAT?"

"NO! PUT A SOCK IN IT!" yelled back Luna.

Lola hollered, "FAT CHANCE! IT'LL RUIN MY MAKEUP!"

_Yeah, the folks were right. For once._

Luna finally spoke again: "So... uh, shall we address the elephant in the room?"

Maggie looked around, confused. She then noticed Bun-bun lying on top of the lower bunk. "You still sleep with a stuffed animal? That's no big deal."

Luna facepalmed. "I didn't mean that. So I... uh, well... relationship?"

"What?"

_**** it Luna, speak coherently!_

Luna happened to look over to the window, where she saw Lynn standing outside of it, hands pressed against the window, eyes gleaming, grinning deviously.

Luna walked over to her. "How the **** are you doing that?"

Lynn replied, "Lincoln's holding me up."

Luna barely heard Lincoln groan, "Hurry up; I can't take this any longer."

Lynn yelled to Luna, "Hurry up and make out already!"

Luna yelled back, "Go away!"

Lynn made a wild grab for the window ledge as she dropped out of sight. Luna heard a loud THUMP, followed by Lynn yelling at Lincoln indistinctly.

Luna turned back to Maggie. "Thank God for gravity."

"Gravity is a harsh mistress, but she is nothing if not fair."

"So... uh, what were we talking about before getting so rudely interrupted?"

"I believe that you mentioned the possibility of us becoming a couple?"

Luna blushed. _Welp. Can't avoid it now._

"So... uh... what would you say to that?"

Maggie studied the floor for a few moments in silence. She looked up, appearing uneasy.

"Uh... well, I suppose... I have, er, conversed with my mother about such a possible course of action, against my will, and... I don't mean that I wouldn't want to, in fact I may like to... I mean... she said I should..."

Luna interrupted her babbling, blushing crush. "Dude. Chill."

Maggie stopped.

"Wait. Did you say you'd like to?"

Maggie thought. "I believe I did." She stared at the floor.

They were silent for a moment.

_OKAY Okay okay okay._

_So she said she'd like to. _Whaddya say to that?__

_I... I dunno._

Luna finally spoke. "So... this is a thing now? Like, officially a thing?"

Maggie replied, "I guess so."

They both looked up and locked eyes.

After what seemed like an eternity, Maggie smirked. "So, um... what do normal couples do?"

"I dunno, but I doubt we'd ever be a normal couple."

_This is it. You gotta tell her._

Maggie chuckled. "I suppose not."

"I promise to not give you any embarrassing nicknames, like, I dunno. 'Spooky'?"

Maggie chuckled again. "No. Please don't call me that."

_Tell her._

Luna opened her mouth.

_I..._

_Tell her._

_I..._

_I can't._

_What? Why not? You gotta!_

_It's just... if we're gonna make this work... I hate to spoil it now._

Luna finally realised that a string of gibberish was emanating from her half-open mouth. "Huhbuhduhbuhwha?"

She promptly shut it. Maggie was staring at her in confusion.

"I, uh... I can't believe I bagged a girl like you. On my first girlfriend, too." She chuckled nervously.

Maggie replied, "So. Now what?"

"Well, I haven't properly introduced you to my sibs too well. Gotta tell ya more about 'em."

"Go ahead."

Luna sat on the floor and motioned for Maggie to sit next to her.

"Well, first off, there's Lori. She's the oldest of us. She's the one who's always on her phone, ya know? She's kinda bossy and real clingy with her boyfriend. But she's probably the sanest of us all, 'sides Linc, probably.

"There's Leni, the one with the sunglasses. She's a real ditz, but she's such a sweetie. Ya need a kind word, talk to her."

"I'll try my best to avoid her."

"'Kay then. Then there's me. I'm the third oldest. You know me already. You know, kooky rockstar wannabe chi- dude?

"There's Luan, the girl you slapped. She's a nutcase if there ever was one. Wannabe comedian, but more of a clown, frankly. Nice enough, but if you bug her, you're basically ****ed. She's got serious pranks, so stay away on April Fools' Day, just warnin' ya.

"There's Lynn, the kid with the jersey. She's basically Babe Ruth but in all sports. Except soccer. She hates soccer. Think it had something to do with what's her name - Tamara? Tanya? Something. Well anyways, she's rough but decent.

"There's Lincoln, the dude who was reading in his underwear when we came in. He's a geek of the nth degree. Loves comics, video games, _King of the Rings_... Your little bro, Tommy, he reminds me of him. Real nice, and got a good head for plans and stuff.

"Lucy... you'd like her. She's the chick with black hair. She's a poet and a Goth, ya know, like you?"

Maggie interrupted her with clenched teeth. "Do NOT call me a Goth. I am an EMO."

"Woah woah woah! Sheesh! Okay. I won't.

"Lana's the girl covered in mud with the missing teeth. She's a mechanic and is real amiable. She loves animals and stuff, but she's awful messy.

"Lola's the princess-y one. She does beauty pageants. You do NOT mess with Lola. Got it?"

Maggie nodded.

"'Kay. Lisa's the kid with glasses. She's four and has like 2 PhDs. She invents a lotta stuff. If she tells you to give her a sample of anything, just walk away. We all learned that the hard way. She'll get it from ya eventually, though, just sayin'.

"And Lily's the baby. Doesn't do much, babbles mostly.

"So yeah. Good luck keeping our names straight."

"I'll try my hardest."

"So, uh, whaddya wanna do now?"

Maggie thought. "How about we go back down so I can talk with all your siblings?"

"Sounds like a plan." Luna stood up and turned to open the door.

"W-wait!" said Maggie, getting up herself.

Luna turned towards her. "What is it?"

Maggie hesitated, staring at the floor again. "Uh... don't take this the wrong way or-"

Lana burst through the door. "Did you guys kiss yet?"

Luna stared at her soberly. "No. Go away."

Lana frowned and shuffled back down the hall, leaving a trail of mud and grass clippings in her wake.

_She musta been out playing with Charles again._

Luna turned back to Maggie. "What?"

Maggie brushed past her, leaving through the now open doorway. "Nothing. Come on."

Luna sighed and followed her through the hall.

* * *

**[hops on the author reference train] It's the LOUDS' OTTOMAN, GET IT?!**

**Nope? Okay.**

**I'm sorry I didn't write more for the chapter; I wanted to flesh out Maggie's interactions with the sisters, but I kind of wanted to get to the point already and to not write another 5000-word chapter.**

**The rest of the chapters for this story are complete. I will post them as soon as I can. I want this story finished and out there just as much as you do.**

**See you soon!**


	11. The Outfit

"So, Maggie didn't find out, and she had a good time," finished Luna.

Sam nodded, her exuberant grin growing ever wider. She finally pulled Luna into a tight hug.

"I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO!" she exclaimed.

"Can't... breathe..." Luna mumbled.

Sam let go of her best friend. Luna gasped for air.

Tall Kate began a slow clap. Once Luna had refilled her lungs, Tall Kate clapped her on the shoulder, saying, "Congrats, pal. Now this table isn't full of single ladies."

Mia replied, "It still is, for the most part."

"Oh, you're just jealous that you've never even had a boyfriend."

"No, I'm not! I like being single!"

"Sure you do. Or you'll realise you don't when - IF you ever get one."

"Hey!"

Tall Kate smirked. "Yeah; I know when I started dating Henry, I thought to myself. 'Why'd I ever want to be single? This is GREAT! I don't have to pay for all my own meals, AND I get lots of love and attention!'" She furrowed her brow. "That last part went wrong, though."

Mia glared at Tall Kate indignantly. "I'll prove I can get a boyfriend!"

"Sure you can," replied Tall Kate in a tone well-suited for a patronising teenager to use to tell their younger sibling, "Oh, that's cute."

Short Kate looked up from her sketchpad and spoke. "I propose a way to settle this."

Tall Kate and Mia looked at her, eager for clarification.

Short Kate didn't respond.

Luna asked, "Kate?"

Both Kates simultaneously replied, "What?"

Luna said, "No, other Kate."

The two girls looked at each other in confusion.

"Short Kate."

The Kate in question turned towards Luna.

"Could you explain?"

"Oh, was that why everyone was looking at me?"

Tall Kate frowned. "Yes it was, dumb***."

"Uh, put your water bottle on its side and spin it. The guy it's pointing towards, you have to ask out."

Mia objected, "Wait! I didn't mean now!"

Sam set her water bottle on its side.

Tall Kate told Mia, "You said you'd prove it. You never said how you'd prove it, so we decided for you."

Mia glared at Tall Kate, then, not wanting to be shown up, spun the water bottle.

The cap pointed towards a table on the other side of the cafeteria.

Tall Kate commanded, "Other Kate! See who it's pointing to!"

Short Kate got up and looked down the length of the water bottle. "It's pointing at Greg."

Everybody but Mia cracked up.

Mia groaned. "Oh, good God, not Greg! Spin it again!"

Tall Kate told her, "Nope. The bottle has chosen."

Mia spun the water bottle just before Sam could pick it up. Short Kate looked at it again and began to chuckle.

Mia asked in dread, "Who's it pointing to now?"

"The poser girl, Kara."

"I think you mean Carol," corrected Luna.

All the girls broke out in laughter yet again, except for Mia, who rested her head on the table in defeat.

Tall Kate said, "Okay, you've gotta ask Greg out, and if he turns you down, you ask out Carol."

Luna raised her hand. "I'll make sure she does it."

She grabbed Mia by the shoulders and marched her over to Greg's table. She then walked over to the wall, surreptitiously pulled out her phone, turned on the video recording, and placed her phone in the pocket of her skirt such that the camera was left uncovered.

Mia awkwardly stood about fifteen feet away from the table for a minute, thinking hard. She finally exhaled, walked over to Greg, and leaned on the table near him.

"Hey Greg," she began in what Luna hoped was her best impression of a flirtatious voice.

_I'm so glad I'm recording this._

"Uh, hi. How's it going?" replied Greg.

Mia looked around and finally saw Luna staring at her. Luna gave her a thumbs-up.

Mia turned back to Greg and said, "It's going pretty well."

Mia exhaled and took out her phone.

_I sure hope she knows what she's doing._

Mia said, "Dang it. There's something wrong with my phone."

Greg asked, "What's wrong with it?"

"Your number's not in it."

It took Luna all the willpower she had to not burst out laughing.

Greg gave Mia a confused look. "What?"

"I, um, uh..." Mia thought hard.

"Uh, you're so handsome you made me forget my pickup line."

Luna clapped her hand over her mouth to conceal a giggle.

_How does she know all these?_

Mia turned and glared at Luna for a second. Luna quickly turned away and studied a poster on the wall next to her.

_Huh. "Drama Club Performance for Royal Woods Middle School"... that's today's date._

_Oh cool. They're doing_ Shrek.

Luna turned back.

Greg was frozen in place with the flabbergasted look on his face. He suddenly burst out in laughter.

"Are you trying to flirt with me or something?"

"Uh, yeah. What makes that so funny?"

"Because... oh wait. Here she comes now."

A girl with long dark brown hair tied back in a ponytail who was carrying a lunch tray sat down next to Greg and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Hey Greg," she greeted him.

"Hey Abby. How's it going?"

Luna's eyes widened.

_OOOOOOOOOOOH_

"Pretty well. Who's the Asian girl?"

Greg looked back and forth between Abby and Mia.

Mia said, blushing, "Uh, I can explain..."

Luna lost it. She fell to her knees in a fit of hysterics.

_Oh God this is PRICELESS_

She looked up and saw Mia savagely stalking towards her.

_Oh ****, Mia growls like a friggin' TIGER_

...

Luna walked back from the nurse's office, holding an ice pack over her right eye. She sat down at her lunch table and began to eat.

Mia said, "Thanks for not ratting me out to the nurse."

"No prob, dude." Luna turned to Sam. "How'd the Carol thing go?"

Sam merely smiled and pulled up a video on her phone.

* * *

Mia walked over to Carol's table nervously.

She tapped Carol on the shoulder, who turned around quickly.

"Uh, Carol? Do... do you wanna go out with me?"

Sam whispered from behind the camera, "Trying the direct approach, I see."

Carol simply stared at Mia.

She kept staring.

Sam muttered, "This is getting weird."

Mia started to back away slowly.

Carol stood up and called to her, "Wait!"

Mia turned tail and tried to run but crashed into some girl with curly blond hair who was carrying a lunch tray. They both fell to the floor, the girl's tray dumping its contents all over.

Sam chuckled.

Carol yelled, "Whitney! Are you okay?" She ran over to the girl and slipped in a puddle of spilled milk, landing on top of Mia.

Sam started laughing hard.

Carol pushed herself up to her hands and knees, still atop Mia. She heard the laughter, turned to the camera, and then looked back down at Mia, who appeared very uncomfortable.

Carol stood up and started to rant: "You... stupid... STUPID ****ING SOPHOMORE *****ES AND THEIR STUPID ****ING PRACTICAL JOKES! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I COULD LITERALLY RUIN YOUR ENTIRE ****ING HIGH SCHOOL TRANSCRIPT FOR THIS! WAIT UNTIL MY FATHER HEARS ABOUT THIS! YOU RETARD *** STUPID SAPPHIC *****ES! I WISH YOUR-"

Before she could finish her thought, the lunch monitor ran over to her and yelled at her to stand down. Realising that she had lost it for once in her life, Carol immediately clammed up.

Sam was laughing so hard that none of the other audio was distinguishable. The camera kept shaking.

Mia had gotten up and was stomping over to Sam, mouthing something along the lines of "TURN THAT THING OFF OR-".

* * *

Luna didn't even try to conceal her laughter.

_Holy ****, that's ****ing AMAZING!_

_It's too bad I missed this!_

_Stupid Mia slugging me in the ****ing eye..._

"Please tell me you're gonna save that and use it as blackmail!" Luna managed between giggles. "Actually, send it to me right now! Lori would love to have this!"

Short Kate spoke up. "I doubt it would be proper to hold the video against her. We all know what Carol is capable of; remember what happened to Jimmy."

The girls all placed their hands over their hearts and closed their eyes for a brief moment of silence.

Luna's phone buzzed.

"Yeah, bro, I guess you're right. Let's get rid of the footage and just keep it in our memories."

_Well, I still have it, and they don't need to know about that._

_Hee hee hee!_

…

Luna walked to her locker after the bell rang. She opened up her backpack and put the books which she didn't need for homework inside her locker.

_Gotta get going Lori's picking us all up today_

Luna zipped up her backpack and shut her locker. She turned and saw all of the middle-schoolers walking out of the auditorium to the door.

Maggie was among them.

Out of habit, Luna called out, "Yo Maggie! What's up?"

Maggie turned towards Luna. She stopped and stared.

"Luke? What the **** are you wearing?"

Luna looked down at herself, at her purple turtleneck and lavender skirt and black boots.

_OH ****_

Luna stammered, "I... I-I, uh... I can explain."

_OH****OH****OH****OH****OH..._

Maggie continued to stare in disbelief.

"Maggie, luv... I... I'm actually a girl. My name's Luna. Luna Elizabeth Loud. I-I-I can prove it. I'll show you my learner's permit." Luna reached for her wallet.

Maggie shook her head, still flabbergasted. "Why?"

"... I didn't... I didn't feel comfortable just... going up to you at that party and being like, 'Hey, I'm a chick, how 'bout a date' or something." Luna sighed, thoroughly ashamed of herself.

Maggie continued to shake her head.

"I... You're... You are a girl."

Luna snapped, "Uh, we've already kinda established that."

Upon realising her misplaced sarcasm, Luna quickly followed up: "Listen, Maggie... I'm so sorry for lying to you about... about who I am. I promise not to lie to you again. Can... can you forgive me? Please?"

Maggie didn't respond.

Luna's voice quavered. "Maggie?"

"I... I need some time. And I have to catch my bus."

Maggie walked away quickly. Her mascara was starting to run.

Luna stood at her locker for a while longer, staring into the distance, unmoving.

The reality of what had just happened finally fell on her in the same way that a grand piano falls on top of a cartoon character.

She fell to the floor and sobbed.

_No_

_Why me?_

_Why today?_

_Why?_

_Why did I have to make such a STUPID *** CHOICE AND FRIKKIN' CROSS-DRESS BECAUSE I'M A COMPLETE ***** AND-_

_There's nothing you can do about it now._

_You've made your choice. Now, it's up to Maggie._

Luna stood back up, grabbed a tissue, and blew her nose. She dried her eyes.

Her phone buzzed.

Lori: We g2g hurry up!

Luna grabbed her backpack and ran to the door.

* * *

**'Tis a shame what happened to Jimmy and how Carol blackmailed him for his fanfiction about twins and a beauty pageant...**

**Luna's Cry Count for This Story = 3**

**I'm a horrible person.**

**See you soon!**


	12. The Artist

**PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT (forgot to put this in Chapter 10): DO NOT USE WATER TO EXTINGUISH AN ELECTRICAL FIRE!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Luna trudged into the cafeteria, sitting down between Sam and Tall Kate. Sam said, "Moon Unit! Why so glum, chum?"

Luna replied despondently, "Maggie... she..."

She broke down in tears. Sam held her tightly. Tall Kate, not knowing what to do, attempted to comfortingly pat her on the shoulder.

Sam said consolingly, "It's okay. It's gonna be okay, buddy. It'll all work out in the end, I promise."

Luna broke free from her embrace, grabbed a tissue, and blew her nose. She sighed heavily and looked around at the other people at her table. Tall Kate looked concerned.

_That's odd; she's not that sensitive, normally._

Mia looked on, her face expressionless. Short Kate looked highly uncomfortable, fidgeting in her seat. Upon noticing Luna looking at her, she redirected her gaze towards the floor.

_What is up with this chick?_

Sam apparently noticed Short Kate's peculiar behaviour as well. She asked her, "Is something eating you?"

Short Kate shook her head vigorously but unconvincingly.

Luna said, "I woulda told ya guys sooner, but those snow days didn't help at all."

Sam nodded.

The table was silent for a moment.

Luna finally stood up. "I forgot to make myself lunch. I'm gonna go up to the kitchen and grab food."

Sam replied, "Okay. I'll save your seat."

As Luna turned to leave, Tall Kate slowly started to slide over into Luna's spot. Sam gave her a shove.

Luna walked towards the lunch line, taking a five dollar bill out of her pocket.

_What're they serving today?_

She stopped, feeling a light tap on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Short Kate.

They paused for a moment, saying nothing.

"CanItalktoyoureallyquick?" Short Kate blurted out all of a sudden. She was visibly shaking.

Luna nodded, placing the bill back into her pocket.

_What is up with this chick?_

Short Kate led Luna into a corner away from others. She turned to face her. After staring at the floor for a few seconds, she looked up at Luna but quickly averted her eyes again. She tried to speak.

"I... I-I-I..." Short Kate stopped. She shook her head almost imperceptibly.

Luna said, "Go on." She extended out a hand to comfortingly touch Short Kate's shoulder. "You can tell me. It's all fine."

Short Kate recoiled from Luna's grasp. She backed off a couple of paces.

_Seriously, what is up with this chick?_

She tried to talk again. "I'm... I..." She sighed.

"I-I-I've got... got... got a... I got..."

"I'vegotacrushonyou."

_Wait, what?_

Luna replied, "Say again?"

Short Kate exhaled, half in relief, half in resignment. "I have a crush on you, Luna. I... You..."

_Oh._

Luna raised her hand to get Short Kate to stop stammering. She pressed it to her forehead as she tried to compile all of the new information.

_So..._

_I feel like this explains a lot._

_I'm gonna need a while to process this, though._

_I would never have known..._

Short Kate was blushing. "I... yeah. You're an awesome person. You're so nice and outgoing and energetic and, uh... cute..."

_You flatter me._

"I thought it might be a bit soon after the awful thing with Maggie, but..."

_I need some time._

"Can... can you please give me some time?"

Short Kate smiled softly, still looking uncomfortable. "I... Sure. I-I've waited this long already."

Luna walked away and entered the lunch line.

_What do I do?_

_I'm still waiting for Maggie to respond._

_It's been a week. She's not gonna at this point._

_You've been down for the entire week; you gotta figure out how to take your mind off your problems at least a bit._

_I dunno though._

_I'm not sure it'd be right to just all of a sudden move on._

_What about Kate?_

_I'd hate to reject her._

_She's painfully shy, but she's opened up to us all pretty nicely since October._

_She's pretty **** sweet._

Luna got her lunch and started reluctantly trudging back to her table.

_I just... I dunno._

_Hasn't Maggie already rejected you?_

Luna sat down, still lost in thought.

Tall Kate was in the middle of a story: "...she'd been talking into the closet the whole time!"

Sam and Mia started laughing. Short Kate grinned, cautiously avoiding looking at Luna.

"And then she starts yelling at me, saying, 'Why you not tell me I talk into closet?' I tried to explain to her that I couldn't see her from the other side of the wall. Didn't stop her from blaming me, though." Tall Kate started to chuckle.

"Then she sees Diane walking by, and she goes over to her and says, 'Kate not tell me I talking into closet when I try talk to Jillian in bathroom!' Then Diane laughs and says, 'So you're telling me you're trying to get Jill to come out of the closet?'"

Sam, Mia, and Tall Kate all cracked up. Luna looked on in confusion. Short Kate smiled painfully.

Luna asked, "What the **** is this about?"

Tall Kate replied, "Oh, right, you missed the first part. Here, I'll start from the very beginning."

"It's a very good place to start!" quipped Mia.

"What're you talking about?" asked Sam.

"It's an old... never mind."

…

Luna looked around while putting her books in her locker. She noticed Short Kate standing at her own locker.

_I dunno._

_Do I say yes?_

_Maggie hasn't responded._

_I'd just feel awful for Short Kate for turning her down._

_Don't make her a charity case._

_I'd feel bad for Maggie, too._

_Good God, why can't relationships be easier?_

Her feet led her towards Short Kate, who turned to her.

Luna began, "Hey, Kate... listen. I've been thinking about what happened during lunch, and..."

"You're going to turn me down because you don't return my feelings. I understand and have come to terms with it."

_Annnnnd now she's guilt-tripping me._

"Kate! I wasn't gonna say that!"

Short Kate's face remained stony. "Sure you were. It's not like anyone could love me."

"Stop guilt-tripping me."

"I'm not. I'm just stating facts."

_What is up with this chick?_

Luna frowned. "Don't belittle yourself, Kate. I... I agree that I don't actually have feelings for you... but if you wanna still give the whole relationship thing a go..." She sighed with finality. "I'm all for it."

Short Kate smiled faintly.

Luna's heart pounded furiously. "So, is that a deal?"

Short Kate responded, "Okay."

Luna grinned and turned to look out the window.

_****! THE BUSES ARE LEAVING!_

Luna's smile vanished, and she sprinted for the door.

* * *

**Tall Kate's anecdote is based on a true story.**

**Luna's Cry Count for This Story = 4**

****One more chapter left! See you soon!** **


	13. The Emo

Luna and Short Kate sat together on a bench in Ketcham Park, looking through some of Kate's artwork.

Luna couldn't help but laugh when she saw a crude rendering of Maggie covered by a large X. "Jealous, were we?" she asked.

Kate nodded, smiling ruefully.

"You're a girl of few words."

"A picture speaks a thousand words. I'm actually quite talkative."

Luna laughed.

"You know, I never would've guessed that you were gay. I mean, you weren't reacting at all when Ms. DiMartino subbed for our class, while I had to practically lock myself in my locker to keep from swooning."

Kate nodded knowingly. "I've gotten good at hiding it. I do make the occasional Freudian slip from time to time, though."

"Such as...?"

"Uh, well, one of my friends asked what I wanted for a birthday present. I didn't want one, so I sarcastically asked for a will to live. Thinking she might take it to mean I needed a crush or something similar, I quickly said, 'I don't mean a girlfriend!' She didn't notice, though."

"That's the most I've probably ever heard you speak."

"That's possible."

They redirected their gaze back to the notebook.

Kate flipped to the next page, revealing a sketch of some type of gun.

"What's that?" asked Luna.

"It's a grapnel gun."

Luna read the hastily scribbled annotations with some difficulty and pieced together how it functioned. "Cool."

Kate nodded.

Maggie said, "Luna. May I talk to you?"

Luna and Kate jumped.

"Oh, hi, Maggie. How are ya?"

Maggie grabbed Luna firmly by the wrist and dragged her to the side.

"I asked for time. You did not give me time."

"Nice to see you too, dude," Luna responded weakly.

Maggie locked eyes with Luna. "That girl you were sitting with... she is your new girlfriend, correct?"

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

"You... you did not give me time." Maggie sighed.

_Oh. Oh boy._

Luna stammered, "I... Maggie, I'm sorry. I didn't... I didn't realise you... you still..."

Maggie sighed again. "I do not... I don't know how I feel. Maybe I would have gone back to you in the end. You made me happy for the first time in a long time. Maybe I wouldn't have. You did lie to me after all. I can say nothing for taste; maybe you transcended it, maybe you'd be rejected for it, maybe you fit with it. Maybe we could have continued... But now, we'll never know."

They both stood there silently for a moment.

"I'm sorry," said Luna finally.

"It was your mistake but our loss."

Maggie brushed away some tears as she turned to leave.

Her sleeve slipped down, revealing scabbed-over knife wounds.

_Oh God_

Luna returned to the bench and sobbed into her hands.

Kate asked, "What's wrong?"

Luna looked up, tears and washed-off mascara coating her hands. "I... I'm a jack***. I'm a horrible human being. I'm the scum of the earth. I'm-"

Kate silenced her by raising her finger and looked at her with compassion. "You may be a jack***, but you're my jack***."

Luna smiled and hugged Kate. Kate recoiled, yelling, "Don't touch me!"

Luna quickly backed off. "Oh. Sorry, dude."

"It's all good."

They sat together, side by side, watching snowflakes drift by.

_Relationships are awfully fragile things, like snowflakes._

_Give them the right conditions and they'll stick around for a long time._

_Give them the wrong ones and, no matter how ornate, desirable, or sturdy, they'll vanish in the blink of an eye._

_That gives me a good song idea..._

THE END

* * *

**Luna's Overall Cry Count for This Story = 5**

**Luna's Cry Count for the Series = 7**

**(I can't believe I'm keeping track of this.)**

******Thanks again to everyone who has read this story (and the one before, if you did). I'm glad that at least some people like it. I'm sorry for the utter depressive nature of the last few chapters, but it was kind of a foregone conclusion. Your support means a lot to me! :)** ** **

****If you want to read more of my stuff, check out my profile! I have a few one-shots posted there and am writing an _Incredibles_ one. If you want to read more Loud House stuff specifically, I'm currently working on a story called "Lisa's Lifestyle Documentation Notebook/Diary", and I have a Samuna one-shot planned. I may be doing a collab piece with AviRay for a Warriors/Loud House crossover, so further developments may develop.** **

**I am thinking about writing a final one-shot about Luna and Short Kate attending a robotics competition at the behest of Tall Kate. Do you think I should write it? Let me know!**

**Hope to see you around! It's been real!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did I tell you? The story is mildly cringey. Why didn't you listen?
> 
> So, yeah. MatNSFL is definitely not one of my better works. It's an example of me having a really stupid idea, getting super motivated, and almost immediately regretting it. But while I'm not proud of the story, I don't regret it.
> 
> I at least hope you got a chuckle out of it. All I can ever hope for is viewer enjoyment.
> 
> Have a nice day!


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